Page 102 of Dear Pink

I remember my old childhood Huffy and smile. “You can ride a hundred miles on such a tiny bike?”

“Well, no. I haven’t finished a race yet, but I will eventually.” His face widens into a grin.

“How many years have you tried?”

“This is my tenth year.”

Ten years? “Maybe this is your lucky year,” I say.

“For sure.” He high-fives me. “I’m gonna dunk myself in water before we begin. It’s a tradition. Catch you later.”

“See ya.” Considering the overbearing heat beating down at 7:20 a.m., soaking my hair sounds terrific.

June and Maude find me near the water station a few minutes later.

“Ready to get in line?” June asks.

“In the back?” The worry is real. I don’t want to be one of the bulls or run over by one.

“Yes, the way back. Remember, the goal today is to have fun and feel fantastic doing it.”

I consider the BMX guy and chuckle. He’s tried for ten years without giving up. I decide to channel his level of confidence. I wrap my arms around June and squeeze.

She returns the embrace. “What was that for?”

“I’m lucky to have you and Maude in my corner.” Maude gives me shifty eyes, but I hug her anyway.

“Stop.” Maude swats at my arms. “Let's go find our spots.”

“Hell yeah,” June says with a fist bump in the air.

As promised, we line our bikes in the very last row. There are thousands of bikers ahead of us, a sea of colored jerseys. When the gun goes off, I watch the crowd in front of me bike forward like moving water. No one pushes me or runs me over like a speed bump. There are no angry bulls chasing my pink bike. A sense of calm settles as I place my foot on the pedal and move forward.

“You don’t have to keep pace with us,” June yells. “Everyone should experience her own journey. If you need to bike ahead or fall behind, it’s okay.”

I nod. It’s at this moment, I realize I’m not alone. Even if Gabe and I broke up, I have friends and genuine relationships. People support me.

My heart pounds faster, daydreaming of Gabe. I frown, swerving on my bike for a second. I didn’t give us a fair shot. My relationship with him didn't have the opportunity to grow. I quit too soon. I peddle harder while the sun pounds on my back.

I didn’t tell Gabe about Libby because I was afraid. Sweat drips down my neck, and I understand what it means to finish this race. Life is hard, but I need to embrace it and live fully. I’m grateful Libby left me the bucket list. She pushed me to find joy and to remember the best parts of myself. Libby always wished the best for me, even after her death.

***

I pass a mile marker and gasp. Twenty-five miles in and I still feel strong. I glance over my shoulder and spot June and Maude. It’s obvious they’re holding back to keep my slower pace.

“Go,” I shout. “I love you, but go. This is your race too.”

“We’ll stay with you.” June wipes her brow.

I shake my head. “I appreciate the support, but maybe my journey is a solo one.”

“You sure?” Maude asks. “Leave no man behind and all that shit?”

“Yes, I’ve got this.”

“You sure do, sweetie.” June gives me a thumbs up. “Okay, Maude, let’s show this race what we’re made of.”

I watch the two of them increase their pace. They speed forward and gain a bit more momentum. It’s fun to watch their bikes rush past others. Five minutes later, they are a speck in front of me.

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