Page 35 of A Baby to Make Her His Bride

“I realize this isn’t something you asked for.” Her voice thickened and her eyes grew brighter. “I’m informing you because you have a right to know.”

Know what?Breathe, he reminded himself, barely able to hear her voice through the rushing in his ears.

“I’m not trying to obligate you. I have all the resources I need to raise it alone,” she continued.

“You’re having it.” He felt numb. As though he stood outside his body.

“Yes! Oh my God, yes. How could you even question that when you know how much I want a baby!” Her eyes were wet, her voice soaked in raw emotion. “I want this babyso much.”

He knew he was still holding his drink in front of his lips, but his whole body was paralyzed. He hadn’t realized how badly he had needed to hear those words. Hadn’t realized how profoundly they would affect him. A wrench of emotion accosted him, crashing past the wall he’d reflexively erected because this was too big.

This was real now. He was becoming a father.Thiswas the news that really took his feet out from under him.Nowhis life was fundamentally altered.

“I was hoping you would be happy.” She dashed at her cheeks. “Or at least...not angry. I can’t help that I cause so much trouble for you, Jasper. I don’t mean to. Iswear. That’s why I’ll raise it alone. You won’t be involved at all. In fact, if you don’t want to tell anyone you’re the father, that’s okay. I understa—”

“Like hell, Vi. If you’re having this baby, thenweare having a baby. This time, I’m one hundred percent involved.”

CHAPTER NINE

“W-WHAT?”HERLIPSwent numb. Her equilibrium wobbled from a tentative joy—that he seemed to want the baby—to deep confusion. “What do you mean, ‘this time’?” Her tender stomach curdled.

Agony flexed across his expression and a muscle pulsed in his jaw.

“Oh my God.” Realization struck with such a deep spear of jealousy she felt impaled by it. “Do you already have a child?” Even as her mind tried to fold that news into her current reality, she experienced a pang of anguish on his behalf, thinking he’d been shut out of his child’s life in some way.

Neither reaction made sense because he wasn’t hers to feel possessive or compassionate toward.

It was hitting her, however, that they were co-parents. The moment she had found out, she had wanted to tell him. She hadn’t known how he would react. In her heart of hearts, she had hoped he would be the one person who might share her exuberant joy, but she’d also been prepared for a flat rejection.

She definitely hadn’t begun to process how much of a role he would play in her child’s life, not beyond offering him a choice as to whether he wanted to be involved. It had never once occurred to her that he might already have a child.

“No,” he muttered, draining his glass and setting it aside. “That other pregnancy was terminated.”

“When?” she blurted, then, “I mean, I’d like to know what happened if you’re willing to tell me. Obviously it’s affecting how you’re reacting to this baby.” She lowered herself onto the sofa, dazed by this news and the charged emotions radiating off him.

“It is.” He acknowledged tightly. “It happened right after we lost Mom.” He took another sip, his gaze focused on the past. “Dad and Amelia were wrecked. My entire future had gone gray. My girlfriend and I had been using condoms, but—”

“That’s why you were so upset that day,” she realized. That was why he had shut down and shut her out even before Neal had turned up.

“We took one stupid chance,” he muttered. “I swore I’d never be so careless again. I was going to say to you that day that I would get you one of those pills if you wanted. But you said you couldn’t get pregnant and I knew how much that upset you. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything more about it.” He ran his hand down his face. “How the hell am I this lucky?”

His tone suggested he didn’t feel very lucky at all. That hurt. She felt like she’d won the lottery. She had!

“Do you resent her for what she decided to do?” she asked carefully.

“No. I genuinely don’t. Her body, her choice. I support that all the way. She was seventeen, same as me. I sure as hell didn’t know how I would have shouldered even more responsibility at that time, so I completely understand how overwhelmed she felt.” He squeezed the back of his neck. “There was a part of me that was relieved it wasn’t my decision to make. I’ll admit that. Maybe, if things had been different, we would have gone on to marry and have a family at a better time, when we were both equipped to handle it.”

“You were in love with her.” Long tentacles of jealousy lashed and stuck to her skin, worming their stinging chemicals deep into her organs, making her heart writhe in agony.

“As much as the average teenager could be.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Our feelings might have matured as we matured ourselves, but we didn’t get a chance to find out. She went to stay with her aunt. I thought—” He swore and turned his face away so she couldn’t read what was in it. “She sent her aunt to tell me she’d decided to terminate. Maybe she thought I would be angry or blame her. That’s always bothered me, that she felt she couldn’t tell me herself. It makes me feel like I failed her in some way. But I think her aunt wanted to do it, to get her own point across.”

“Which was?” Cold fingers trailed down her spine, raising goose bumps of dread all over her back and shoulders.

His flinty expression became conflicted and grim, revealing how much the experience continued to ravage him.

“She said Annalise had realized she would have better prospects in the future. She could do better, so she didn’t want to tie herself to me.” He finally looked at her, gaze flat, expression stony, but she knew how much those sorts of words hurt. She knew all too well.

“That’s really awful, Jasper. You didn’t deserve that.” Especially not when he was actually a very caring and conscientious and generous person.

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