Page 60 of Double Devotion

He looks at me, mesmerized, and keeps caressing my hand.

“You have a charming, amazing, gorgeous and wonderful daughter,” he repeats again and again. “I love her very much.”

Everyone smiles politely.

“Alright, it’s time for us to head out,” my father urges my mother. We hug and kiss goodbye. Avi shakes their hands.

Although the evening started off as tense and somewhat confusing, in the end it gave me a sense of tranquility and peace of mind. After my second divorce, I was sure they’d never look me in the eye again. They struggled to accept the fact that I had decided to get divorced yet again. My first divorce made them ashamed of me, and they wouldn’t stop telling me how embarrassed they were. That was why they encouraged me to marry Matthew; they claimed it would be a wonderful opportunity, and I’d be wrong to give up on it. After all, I wasn’t getting any younger, and I might regret it later. I decided to try and be the daughter they expected me to be. I thought that if I denied my own urges and took the logical route for once, things would work out and I’d be able to break my destructive streak. How ironic.

Now I’m all alone, my head is resting softly on the pillow. I shut my eyes and give into this significant and liberating moment. I’m filled with confidence. Finally, my parents appreciate me for my choices. It’s no small thing. It’s hard walking around, feeling that my closest and most significant family thinks little of me. Such thoughts can erase every inkling of self-esteem. I remember how whenever Matthew felt helpless, he’d use that against me, to hurt me as much as he could.

“Even your parents hate you. They’ve rejected you. You’re nothing to them.”

And I knew when he’d say it, I was nothing to him, too.

Avi immediately realized there was a rift between us. He put in the time and effort to clear the air, emphasize my strengths and how meaningful I am to him, how he regards me as a successful, talented, and blessed woman. I’m sure my mother is over the moon. My heart swells with bliss and relief. A wide smile spreads on my lips when I see him sitting in an armchair in the garden, his eyes peacefully shut.

You’re so precious to me, my dear Avi. This time, I’ll make no mistakes. I’ll give myself entirely to you! I’ll leave all my flaws, my past, my pain and tears behind and I’ll focus on the good that seems to have suddenly rocked my entire world.

Chapter 17

“Mom, when am I going to meet the person who’s been making you this happy? I’m well-aware that he’s the one who’s been sending you flowers and all those little treats.”

I smile embarrassedly.

“You’re right. Please, come over here. Let’s sit together, sweetie, and talk for a while,” I sit him on my lap, caress his hair, and breathe in his sweet scent. “I have someone special in my life. He’s very dear to me. His name is Avi. Even though you still haven’t met him, he knows how important you are to me. He’s been asking to meet you, but I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. After all, it’s been a few weeks since your dad and I broke up. I wasn’t sure you’d be ready for that.”

“But you always say that we should overcome everything together. Dad even told me that he met him.”

“Did he actually say that?” I panic. How could he have done that, for God’s sake? He’ll do anything in his power to hurt and control me. “What did he tell you?”

“He said that you’ll probably get married again,” he looks at me curiously.

That man is so insensitive!

“Please, listen to me, Son. Avi is very important to me. Your dear father can no longer dictate my life. We got divorced so we could each lead a peaceful life and find our bliss. Each of us in our own path. When we were married, I was too sad and didn’t have the energy to nurture you as much as you deserve. In any case, I suggest that you meet him as soon as possible. He’s a very good man and I’m quite sure that you’ll see it for yourself. In any case, you should know, I’ll never do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“So, can we meet him tonight?”

“If you feel that this is right time,” I gently ease my grip on him.

“I’m sure.” He hops off and goes to his room to play with his Legos.

I immediately call Avi and tell him everything that had happened.

“That sounds great,” he sounds pleased. “Kids love me! Everything will work out, trust me! I’ll be there soon. You have nothing to be anxious about,” he promises.

I really hope so. I finish the call and rush to prepare a delicious supper: a heap of small and fragrant hamburger and buns. A treat that both children and grownups would love. Certainly, my boys would, I chuckle to myself.

It’s almost time, and Roy and I are waiting in the living room. Avi arrives dressed in a black t-shirt with a winking yellow smiley emoji and dark jeans. He’s so handsome, every outfit he wears fits him perfectly. I fawn over him, then give him a quick hug. He comes in and approaches Roy, shakes his hand and introduces himself.

“I’m so glad you asked to meet me. I’ve heard so much about you, but I wanted to make sure everyone was at ease before I meet you. I’ve already met your dad, your grandma and grandpa.” He winks at him. “Come here and sit next to me,” he gestures at the sofa. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me. Please, ask away. I’ll be happy to answer anything you want to know.”

“I only have one question,” he looks him straight in the eyes. “I’d like to know if you’re going to leave my mommy, too?”

I look at him, stunned. My eyes well up with tears of pain, regret, sadness, as well as excitement.

“I don’t want her heart to break again,” he explains to him with impressive sincerity.

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