Page 120 of For the Love of the Gods

I couldn’t handle their pity.

“Rose, I’m so sorry,” Lukas said. “You don’t…”

I shook my head furiously, cutting him off. He was going to saydeserve this. That I didn’t deserve this. My disagreement was on the tip of my tongue, but for some reason, it felt wrong.

“I don’t deserve this,” I whispered, barely uttering the words.

“Of course not. No, no, you don’t,” Dominic rushed out, pressing his hand into the back of my neck.

“I don’t deserve this,” I repeated, my teeth chattering and my limbs and muscles shook in shock. It was an admission, a promise to myself, that I never thought I’d make.

I had been torturing myself, inflicting punishment because of the idea that Ididdeserve it. That what I’d done was unforgivable.

But, maybe, maybe I felt like I was forgiven. And the only person who had to apologize was me. To myself, for placing blame that belonged on my father’s shoulders onto mine. For letting my grief and regret and anger spin it into something that was entirely my fault, something that deserved endless punishment.

To apologize for not standing up for myself, instead just molding into a shape that fit the accusations and rumors.

“Rose, you don’t deserve this,” Dominic said, his voice a whisper that wrapped my skin in a soft embrace.

I was shaken but I relished in his touch. He was the only thing that could make me feel better right now. Because right now, I needed to feel safe. I needed to feel protected. I needed to feel cared for.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my head in his neck, breathing in the scent of his cedar and cypress soap, and I felt my nerves dissipate which each breath in.

I was in love with him.

My breath hitched at the thought. The realization had dawned on me so fast, my knees would have buckled if I wasn’t still kneeling on the floor. It was followed by the kind of peace that could only come from finally admitting to something you’d known for a long time. I had. For a while.

I’d just masked it with a claim to hate. Not hard to do, although now the weight in my heart felt powerful enough to destroy a realm.

I’d deal with the fallout later. For now, I just needed him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

I shook my head, scraping my forehead against his warm neck. “Later.”

“Are you okay? Physically, at least?” Dominic asked, softly. Like he was scared of the answer.

“Yes,” I said against his throat, right on the strong, corded muscle.

“Let’s clean you up then.” And that was that. Whatever I needed, whatever I asked for, he would give me.

Dominic silently said goodbye to Lukas and Adrian and hitched me up into his arms before I could protest. Not that I would have, when it was so easy to keep holding onto him and let him sweep me away.

On solid, quick legs, Dominic carried me up three flights of stairs and into our bathroom, not setting me down until both doors were closed and we were closed off from the outside world.

I kept my eyes closed as he turned on the shower and stripped off my bloodied clothes. His own went next and then he guided me slowly under the warm spray.

It was even the perfect temperature, not hot enough to shock me but warm enough to calm my shaky limbs. I whispered a thank you, keeping my words short. Too much talking and I was at risk of blurtingI love you.

Not good, not when I wasn't sure how he felt.

But it didn't feel like he hated me as Dominic tilted my head back, slowly running his hands through my hair. I hadn't realized there was blood in it, not until I got a glimpse of pink stained water on the white tile.

His hands worked shampoo through my scalp next, and as the suds washed out, my fear and shakiness went with it. Well, most of it.

When Dominic realized I could stand on my two feet, he twisted us so that he could stand under the spray. I kept my hands on his chest, even as he turned away from me to face the wall.

He stood there, letting the water hit the back of his head and neck, with his hands pressed to the far wall. He was so stiff. My eyes were zeroed in on the space in between his shoulder blades when I saw his muscles bunch.

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