Page 54 of Madd Love

“Well, unfortunately he does care.” The pressure of his fingers increases on mine as he searches my face.

“I don’t understand.” There are so many things I don’t know. I’m so fed up with everyone trying to coddle me. It’s like they don’t believe that I’m strong enough to handle whatever they’re not telling me. I try to clench my fist, but I can’t because of the cast. Maybe they’re right if I’m not even strong enough to make a fist. “Why?”

“Before you and I met, Rebel put him in the hospital for what he did to Ro,” Rogue tells me. “Rebel did time, but I don’t think that was enough for your brother. He wanted payback.”

“Alec did?” Black spots dance in my vision. The whole idea makes me dizzy and shaky.

“Ivy, you’re not okay, are you?” Rogue shifts onto his elbow.

“I’m…” I feel like I’m hyperventilating. Like I could die if I don’t get enough air. “Go on. Please.”

“He set up the girl and the video. You told me that the next day. You were certain of it. That’s why you stayed. You knew we weren’t over. You’re the one I woke up beside the next morning. The one I made love to the next day. Ask Rebel. Or Riot. They’ll tell you the truth.”

“I believe you.” My voice is a rasp and I’m on the precipice of tears. I’m not sure why. I’m aware that Alec isn’t a good person. It’s not that I’m shocked about my brother. But it leaves me chilled to think that he could go as far as to set up Rogue to emotionally wound me.

Rogue wraps his arms around me and draws me close. “I’m worried that he hurt you. With the way you react whenever his name is mentioned, it seems like a certainty. You’re shaking, baby.”

I don’t want to think about it. I let out a low moan. “I’m fine. Tell me about Marty.”

“Marty?” His gaze is full of concern. “She’s a reporter. And a family friend. She came to me with some concerns about Nicole’s attack on me. I told her my side of the story. That’s all.”

“Fact checking?”

“You could call it that.”

“Okay.” I turn onto my back again. I believe him. “Remind me what we were like together. How it was before…”

“Before you forgot,” he says it so I don’t have to.

I might never remember that time. No matter how much I want to. “Yeah.”

Chapter Nineteen

Ivy

Iboltupright.Myforehead is covered in perspiration and my heart is racing. I was in Narnia and there was so much blood. It flowed from my arms and dripped in big thunderous splats on the plush carpet. Its ivory color turned crimson and the crimson spread ever wider.

My fingers fumble against the new lamp Rogue bought to replace the one I broke. For some reason it isn’t on, but the minute I press the switch it lights up and pushes the shadows back.

After what Alec did to me when I was little—the way he used to lock me in the closet—I’m always going to be afraid of the dark and confined spaces. But I never thought I’d be scared of the costume closet until now.

I’m not in Narnia though. Not in a confined space. Or the dark.

My pulse slows and my breathing too. I’m sitting in bed. Where Rogue gave me orgasm after orgasm before we fell asleep. Like he’s done every night since he told me the truth about that kiss. And Alec. And Marty.

His side of the bed is empty. There’s the sound of rhythmic thumping coming from his home gym. He does this in the wee hours of the morning. Every day since he brought me home from the hospital.

I figured it was a tension thing. I was ready to explode, so surely he was too. But we dealt with that problem. And he’s still doing it.

Shoving back the blankets, I wander toward the room where the noise is coming from. Stop in the doorway when I catch sight of him.

He’s a god. Shirtless. Glistening. Gray sweatpants hanging from his hips in that way that makes a girl lose her damn mind. They’re patchy with sweat. He throws fist after fist at a large bag hanging from the ceiling. His shoulders flex and ripple with each swing.

I watch him from the doorway as he takes out whatever is bothering him on the bag. Over and over and over he lashes out. His face is a mask of fury and pain.

“Rogue?” He doesn’t seem to notice me when I move into the room. He doesn’t stop when I circle him. Maybe he has earbuds in and he can’t hear me over his music.

I’m almost in front of him when he stops. The bag smashes against his shoulder without his fists to stop it. Palms up he stretches out his fingers as he rips off the wrapping. His breath comes too quick and too shallow. His shoulders go up and down with it.

---