Page 32 of Absent Feeling

“Seewhat that gets us, and we’ll go from there,” Amber said.

Sheheard the sound of typing on the other end of the phone. “I have literallyhundreds of hits,” the administrator said. “It’s just anyone who has ever had aconnection with the two doctors.”

Fartoo many to look into, in other words. Which meant that they still needed tonarrow it down more.

“Canwe limit it to patients with a history of violence?” Amber asked.

“Wecan, but that will still be a high number,” the administrator explained.“People aren’t locked away here just because they’re ill. It’s because theypose a danger either to themselves or others.”

Ambertried to work out the best way to narrow it all down. “We’d be looking for arecently released patient, one who might still potentially be a danger,preferably one with a condition where the Rorschach test is routinely used as adiagnostic tool, and one who was treated by both doctors.”

Thatwas a narrower definition but, the moment Amber said it, she worried that itmight be too narrow.

“Thatjust takes us back to Matthew Aymes,” Ms. Dern said. “I’m sorry, but it reallyis hard to narrow down the records the way you want.”

“Forgetthe records for a moment,” Amber said. “Is there anyone you can think of whomight be a good candidate to have done all of this? Did any of your patientshate the two doctors and Ysabel Jones? Have any of the ones released recently feltto you as though they might still be a danger to people?”

“Wedon’t release patients who still represent a danger to the public,” Ms. Dernsaid. “And if I had to say that one was still unstable, again … it would beMatthew.”

Whohad a solid alibi, and therefore couldn’t be the killer.

“Thankyou for your time, Ms. Dern,” Amber said and hung up. She looked over to Simon.“Nothing. They can’t narrow it down without it just becoming Matthew Aymesagain.”

“Andwe already know it can’t be him,” Simon said. “Keep trying, Amber.”

Thatwas easy for him to say, but Amber couldn’t imagine what she could try nextthat might help. What was she meant to do, go over the files again to see ifanything leapt out at her? The truth was that something alreadyhadleaptout at her. Her instincts said that the pattern the killer had left behind mattered,that it was the best route they had to get closer to the killer.

Amberfound herself calling up an image of the inkblot pattern in spite of everythingthat Simon had said about it. She found herself looking for meanings of theimage. Amber tried to think of other things that the image might represent. Shelooked at images of local landmarks, hoping that it might prove to be some kindof impressionist representation of one of them, but there was nothing close toit. She tried looking for artworks produced by local artists in case the killerwas leaving behind one of his own works. Again, nothing. She tried—

“Amber,we don’t have time for you to start looking at the inkblot again,” Simon said.

“ButI’m convinced it has something to do with all of this,” Amber said.

“I’mnot,” Simon replied. “I think you’re just looking for a puzzle because it makesyou feel like you can do more to help that way, but I need you to look into theevidence. We need to run this down using normal investigative methods.”

“Youheard me try calling the psychiatric facility,” Amber pointed out. “They didn’thave anything useful to tell us.”

“Thereare still plenty of other places you could look.” Simon’s tone seemed to begrowing firmer now. “Go back over the connections between the victims, see ifthere’s anything there.”

“ButI really think that this—”

“Amber,I get it, that’s the part you want to focus on, but I’m the agent in charge ofthis case, and I need us to focus on the parts that are most likely to give usresults. You’re a consultant on this, not an agent. I’m the one who’sresponsible for this case, and I need you to work with me, not wander off,doing your own thing.”

“Evenif I think this is the right thing to do?”

“Amber,the FBI isn’t about doing whatever you want. We follow procedure. We look intocases the right way. We follow orders. If you can’t do that … well, maybeyou’ve found your answer about whether you want to work with me.”

Thiswas a side of Simon that Amber hadn’t seen before. He hadn’t put his foot downwith Amber like this before, hadn’t stopped her like this. Amber wasn’t surethat she liked it.

Ambersnapped the folder with the inkblots inside shut pointedly, looking at Simon. Shecouldn’t just keep working on the inkblot now, not when Simon would stop herthe moment she started. She also didn’t want to just dive back into looking atthe connections between the victims when she was sure that wouldn’t lead anywhere.She had to think of something else, but she wanted it to be clear to Simon thatshe didn’t like this.

Whomight have killed them, if not one of their former patients or a man whoobviously hated the Rorschach test? Amber found herself thinking about whatAshley Seaver had said: that someone who was obsessed with the Rorschach testwas more dangerous than someone who hated it.

Whomight be obsessed with the test? Someone who applied it all the time? Maybesomeone who worked with it?

Itwas a longshot, but one Amber knew she had to explore. She called theGuisborough Wellness Institute, quickly getting through to its headadministrator and putting the call on speaker.

“Ms.Young?” Ms. Dern said. “Did you need something else? I want to help, but I’mreally not sure what else we can do with our patient records.”

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