Page 4 of Absent Feeling

“I’mglad I’m such a good story for you,” Amber said with a laugh.

Josephtook her hand earnestly. Amber could feel the softness of his hands againsthers. Her own were rougher now than they had been, thanks to the time she’dspent fighting and running obstacle courses. She’d had to get tougher throughthe FBI training, even if Amber suspected that she would never be quite astough as some of the other agents.

“You’rea lot more than just a story,” Joseph assured her. “In fact, I’ve been thinkinga lot about us, and about our relationship.”

Thatwas a phrase that had, in Amber’s life to date, usually presaged some guydumping her because he thought that her obsession with puzzles was too strange,and he didn’t like coming second to her need to find out obscure facts. Itmeant that Amber tensed automatically, even though Joseph’s tone made it allsound as if it were a good thing.

“Whatdo you mean?” Amber asked.

“Nothingbad,” Joseph assured her. “The opposite. I mean that, now that you’re finishedwith your training and we have the time to actually be together, I’d like us tobe something more than just casual.”

Thathadn’t been what Amber had been expecting at all when she’d come here. She’dthought that it would just be a celebration dinner, maybe spilling over into awhole night of just the two of them together, but she hadn’t expected, hadn’thoped, for more than that. She and Joseph had dated, but there hadn’t been anysuggestion that they were a serious couple, or even that they were exclusive.It had just been a series of one-off dates that had … well, they’d been great,but Amber hadn’t believed that she could ever mean more than that to a man likeJoseph who could get any woman he wanted.

“Whatdo you mean ‘more than just casual’?” Amber asked. She assumed that he wasn’tproposing or anything, after the scattered dates they’d had. Although given hownice the restaurant was, and how much of an effort Joseph had made to dress up …“Wait, you’re not proposing or anything, are you?”

Ittook Amber a moment to realize that she’d actually said that out loud, ratherthan just keeping it as a thought.

Josephlooked shocked for a moment, then laughed. “Wait? What? You think I’d do thatthis early in a relationship?”

“Sorry,it was just with the restaurant, and everything …”

Ambersaw Joseph look around the restaurant, taking it in carefully. She saw therealization dawn on his face as he saw the happy couples, the fine dining, and everyonedressed up so carefully. He laughed again then.

“OhGod, itdoeslook like the kind of place that you’d take someone if youwere planning to propose to them,” Joseph said. Clearly, the thought hadn’toccurred to him before.

“Orbreak up with them,” Amber said. “You know, take them somewhere expensive sothat they don’t want to make a scene.”

“I’mnot here to break up with you,” Joseph said hurriedly. “Orpropose toyou. Not that I never want to … it’s just far too soon to be …”

“It’skind of cute, watching you be the one tripping over himself for once,” Ambersaid.

“Ijust want us to be officially a couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Exclusive.Sorry, that all sounds very teenage, but I can’t think of a better way to putit.”

ToAmber, it seemed like the perfect way to put things.

“Iwould love that,” she said. She saw Joseph relax slightly, his smile broadening.

Fora minute or two, they just sat there, enjoying one another’s company as anothercourse of the dinner arrived. Eventually, though, Amber knew that she wouldneed to say something. She couldn’t just stare longingly into Joseph’s eyes forthe rest of the meal.

“Igot a job offer today,” Amber said.

“Ajob offer? As a puzzle editor, or …”

“Asan FBI agent. Agent Phelps’s boss wants me to work in her department with him.In DC.”

Thatwas a big advantage of the job: it meant that she would be around. It meantthat she and Joseph would actually have a chance to see how well they worked asa couple since they would both be in the same city for more than a few days ata time.

“Doesn’tthat department track down killers?” Joseph asked. “The last two cases youworked with them, you were in a lot of danger, Amber.”

Ambernodded. “That’s one of the things I’m thinking about at the moment. I toldAgent Palliser that I would get back to her.”

“Oneof the things?” Joseph said. Of course, he was going to pick up on that asa well-trained reporter.

“It’salso going to be this huge disruption to my life. I’ve enjoyed being able tohelp the FBI out with their cases, but if I take this job, I won’t be able todo other work on the side. I won’t be able to make puzzles for people or setquestions for quizzes. That whole side of my life will start to fade away.Maybe I’ll be able to do the occasional quiz as a hobby, but it won’t be thesame.”

“Isthat all of it?” Joseph asked. “Or is there more to it?”

Ambertook several seconds to think. “There’s more to it. I’ve been in these life anddeath situations. I’ve nearly died. I’ve had toshootpeople. Maybe,compared to all of that, a life of just putting together a few puzzles soundsbetter.”

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