Page 2 of Absent Feeling

Amberfelt a brief flash of joy and pride knowing that he was there to watch her dothis, along with some nerves. He’d already written a couple of stories abouther involvement in major cases, but Amber had a faint suspicion that he wasplanning something about her successful graduation as an agent too. Would “FormerPuzzles Editor Becomes FBI Agent” be enough of a headline to grab attention onone of the inside pages?

Amberdidn’t know. She didn’t even know if she really was aformerpuzzleseditor. She was still taking freelance puzzle gigs, producing quizzes,contributing questions to a couple of gameshows, and creating custom puzzles fora couple of clients who wanted them for parties or collections. That side ofher life still meant so much to Amber that she’d been careful to keep it up,even with how difficult her training had been.

Amberwatched the next graduating agents make their way across the stage and collecttheir certificates. Amber found herself smoothing down the suit that she’d wornfor today. She hoped that she would look determined and professional enoughthat people could imagine her as an FBI agent. With her petite frame, slightlyrounded features, and a button nose that made her look a little younger thanher twenty-six years, she wondered if people would take her seriously when shewalked into a room and said that the FBI had arrived. Amber was currentlywearing her glasses, which she suspected only added to the impression of her asa nerdy puzzle editor rather than a tough, highly trained agent.

Shewas only a couple of places away from stepping onto the stage now. Amber had totake a breath, reminding herself that she deserved to be there. There had beenmoments in the training when that had been anything but certain, when shehadn’t even been able to fire a gun without closing her eyes or take down asuspect hand to hand. Somewhere in the last case she’d worked with AgentPhelps, though, that hesitation had fallen away. She’d been able to shoot thesuspect to save her own life, a non-lethal shot that had let them capture apuzzle-obsessed killer alive.

Itwas her turn to step out onto the stage now. She walked up to the seniorinstructor standing there, took a tightly rolled certificate that said she’dcompleted the course successfully, and shook his hand. Amber stood there forthe briefest of moments, looking out and trying to savor the brief seconds shehad on the stage. Amber had earned this moment. Then it was time for her tomarch over to the far side.

Shewas a little surprised to find Agent Simon Phelps waiting for her there, dressedneatly in a dark suit that didn’t do much to hide the broad-shoulderedathleticism of his frame. He was sandy haired, square jawed, and always lookedas though he was about to leap into action to take down a bad guy.

“Congratulations,Agent Young,” Simon said, shaking her hand. Amber had worked with him on twocases. He’d started out as a stranger, an FBI agent who clearly didn’t get whatwas involved in solving puzzles. Now, Amber thought of him as a friend, someoneshe would trust with her life—Hadtrusted with her life.

“Thatfeels strange, hearing my name like that,” Amber said. “I’m an agent.”

“Well,technically, not yet,” Simon said.

Amberfrowned slightly at that.

“You’vepassed the training course, you have all the training,” Simon explained,obviously catching the small change in Amber’s expression, “but you’re only anagent if you’re employed as one by FBI. You’ll need to apply for a post, eitherwith us or with one of the agencies that accepts our training.”

“If?”Now, Amber was worried. She’d done all of this with the idea of becoming anagent. Today was the day that it all came to fruition, at least in her head. Shehad essentially ignored the next step.

Sheknew that Simon was right, though. She would need to work out which part of theagency she wanted to try to become a part of, which she needed to apply for apost with.

“Don’tworry about it,” Simon said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I knowyou’re going to get a job in the agency, in fact—”

“Gatheraround!” the senior instructor on the stage said. “Now that the lastcertificates have been presented, one of our former graduates has a few wordsto say. We are honored today to have Agent Palliser of the DC office here tospeak to us. Agent Palliser, the stage is yours.”

Amberstared in shock at the sight of Simon’s boss walking onto the stage. She was atall, pale woman in her fifties, whose jet-black hair had a single streak ofgrey running through it and who wore a dark pantsuit that looked like it mightbe designer. She looked around with an air of authority that seemed to capturethe attention of everyone there, Amber included.

“Ithas been a while since I have been back here to Quantico for anything notdirectly related to a case,” she said, “but I was reminded earlier that withoutthe fresh blood that Quantico provides to the agency, the FBI wouldn’t be ableto defend this nation against the threats that it does.”

Shelooked over at the group of those who had graduated.

“Eachone of you here has gone through hard weeks of training, learning yourobligations as an agent, learning the law, learning about the kinds of casesthat you might have to investigate. At the same time, you have gained theskills you will need to fulfill those obligations and to bring some of the mostdangerous people out there to justice.”

AgentPalliser paused for a moment or two, clearly to allow her words to sink in.

“Todaymarks the completion of that training, but it is also just the beginning formost of you. In just days or weeks, you could find yourselves at the other endof the country, working cases in any one of our many field offices. Some of youwill become generalists, while others will specialize in particular areas,perhaps making the most of the backgrounds you possessed before you applied tojoin our numbers. Remember, wherever you are and whatever you find yourselvesdoing, that the aim is the same. We protect the public and bring criminals tojustice. You still have a lot to learn, but all of you deserve to be proud ofyourselves today.”

AroundAmber, her fellow newly trained agents started to applaud, but Amber foundherself a little worried by Agent Palliser’s words. Amber could hear all thecaveats that had been in her speech: that they all still had more to learn, andthat most of them would find themselves in far flung field offices rather thanworking in DC. It was a reminder of just how much Amber was about to upend herlife. She wouldn’t even be able to be a puzzle editor anymore, except on themost casual basis, because the FBI didn’t want its agents trying to hold downmultiple jobs.

Amberwas still thinking about that as Agent Palliser strode off the stage, headingfor their little group. Some of the former trainees around Amber stepped backto let her pass, looking at her with a kind of awe that said they knew this wassomeone important within the agency, someone who could make or break theircareer.

Amberstarted to step aside, too, in order to let Agent Palliser pass, but shestopped in front of Amber and Simon, holding out a hand for Amber to shake.

“Ms.Young, congratulations. Or should I say Agent Young now?”

“Ineed to find a posting in the agency before that,” Amber pointed out,remembering what Simon had just said to her.

Shesaw Palliser look over to Simon. “You haven’t told her yet? Are you havingsecond thoughts, Phelps?”

Simonshook his head. “Of course not, ma’am. I just didn’t get a chance to say itbefore your speech began.”

“Verywell, I’ll do it.” Agent Palliser looked Amber in the eye. “I’ve been trying toget Agent Phelps to work with a partner on a more regular basis, but he’salways resisted it. Yet in two cases in a row, he was not only happy to workwith you, but he also actively sought you out. You’ve also proved yourselfcompetent in the field, if … somewhat impulsive.”

Amberknew better than to try to argue that point.

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