Page 24 of Sweet Addiction

Closing the distance between us, she places a hand on my forehead. “Are you? You look pale and you’re burning up.”

I pull my head away. “It’s just cramps. I will be fine.”

She nods, a grin curving her lips. “Good. Well, I have news. The production team wants to do a test shoot with you. To see how you come across on camera. I booked you a casting for a commercial next week. It’s the perfect opportunity for them to film it. You will need to take the day off school though. Is that okay?”

Right now, after what I did, I would quit school altogether if it made her happy. And because of my guilt, even though she isn’t aware of what I did, I say, “Of course.”

Suspicion flashes in her eyes. “You are never normally this agreeable. What gives?”

Forcing a calm, I don’t feel, I shrug nonchalantly. “Nothing. It’s what you want right? So, I am just giving it to you without argument.” Pushing past her, I grab some sweats and a thin sleeve sweatshirt from my closet, pulling them on. I need to get out of here. Go take some pictures. Erase every part of the last hour from my mind.

“Okay. Oh, before I forget. I’ve been asked to give a speech at the women in film gala in a couple of weeks. I expect both you and Knox there.” Her tone leaves no room for argument.

And although it makes me feel anxious, hearing his name from her mouth, I plaster on a smile, agreeing. “I will be there.”

Mom claps her hands, squealing. “I don’t know what’s happening right now, but I love this new amenable you. It makes things a lot easier. Now, you need to speak with Gretchen about dinner. Me and Knox are going on a date night.”

I am nearly sick in my mouth at her words. “Wh-what?”

She eyes me like I am stupid. “Date night. Me and my fiancé.”

Before I can stop myself, the words are out of my mouth. As if I am speaking to a child, I say softly, “Mom, Knox told me the real reason for your relationship. He said you’re not together. That it’s for PR reasons. Why didn’t you tell me the truth when I asked?”

Fury. It’s the only way to describe the look on her face. “He had no right to tell you that,” she bites out.

“But it’s the truth?” I prompt.

Her hands land on her slim hips as she glares at me. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you telling your friends. Me and Knox need each other. If the truth came out, it would ruin everything. And anyway, it might not be real, yet, but it will be. I can feel him coming around to the idea of us.” She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Truthfully, I think we could be really good together if he just tried. Is Knox who I imagined ending up with? No.” Her whole face turns dreamy. “I always believed that I would end up with your father but then he had to go and marry that whore.” I flinch at the horrible word she uses for Vanessa. “Anyway, Knox and I may not love each other but I think we are perfect together. We could be the new power couple of Hollywood if he would just get over whatever aversion he has to me. You would think with all the women he has fucked, some of them not even that attractive, he would be honored that I want him.” She laughs but I can hear the hurt in her words. She hates it that he doesn’t want her in that way. “He will come around though. I will make sure of it. This will be real and will be good for both of us,” she finishes, determination in her voice.

Even though they are not together, I know she has some feelings for Knox. That makes me feel worse. I feel sick to my stomach as I glance at my bed. I want to cry. For what I did. For liking it so much, I want to do it again. I rub my temples, feeling a headache coming on. I am a mess. Conflicted. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I say, “Have a good night.”

She smiles. “We will. Don’t wait up.” Her cackle as she leaves bounces around my room, mocking me. In this moment, I hate Knox McCabe. I hate myself.

And worst of all, I hate Mom for being able to go out on dates with the man that I think I might be falling for.

* * *

I left the house quickly after the conversation with my mother. Fortunately, I didn’t see Knox. My head and emotions were all over the place. I needed space to think.

How could he fuck me, then go out for a dinner date with my mom? Deep down, I knew it was all for show, but it still hurt, making me question everything.

Was I just a toy to him?

Another notch on his already full belt?

My head was filled with so many doubts, reservations, and yet I had no answers. Because he was out with my mom, playing the perfect boyfriend. I scowl. Hating that I am allowing these negative thoughts to infiltrate my happy place. My photography. Shaking them away, I focus on taking pictures of animals, birds, innate objects. Anything that catches my attention and keeps me from thinking abouthim.

My cell rings, breaking the silence and scaring away a bird I was just about to capture. Dropping my camera on the table, I pull my cell from my sweats pocket. My stomach twists into knots at the name on the screen. Talan. After the abrupt end to our call earlier and with everything else that has happened since, I sort of forgot about him.

Sliding my finger across the screen, I answer, “Hey, how are you feeling?”

He huffs. “Concussed. Why did you end our call earlier? I wanted to ask you about what happened, being as you were the only other person there. One minute we are arranging our date; the next I am on a bed in the nurse’s office. What the fuck Madison? Knox said I was hit by a rogue ball. Though I don’t see how. We were out there alone, Madison.” Accusation is thick in his tone, making me swallow. I could tell him the truth but that would get Knox into trouble. As much as I am angry with him right now, I don’t want that.

“Yeah, that’s the truth. It came out of nowhere.” My chest tightens with the lie.

The line goes quiet for a long beat before he chuckles. “Well shit. I don’t trust that asshole, but if you say it’s true, I guess I believe it.” He sighs. “Look Mads, I wasn’t going to say anything, but… I don’t know; something is off about him. He is very protective of you. And the way he watches you? I don’t like it.”

I force a laugh. “He is marrying my mom Talan. I guess he is just watching out for me, now that he is going to be my,” I nearly choke on the next word. “Stepdad.”

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