Page 13 of Sweet Addiction

The hot water beats down on me warming my skin, even though I shiver, remembering how Knox watched me on the field earlier. Like he physically can’t take his eyes off me.

It’s both exhilarating and alarming.

I both love and hate it.

Before my brain can compute what I am doing, my hand is between my thighs, and I am running a finger through my wet folds. I am crossing so many lines right now. Hell, I am so far across the line, I can’t even see it. I know this is wrong. Know I shouldn’t be touching myself to thoughts of Knox, but I can’t seem to stop. I am in the privacy of my shower where no one knows of the sick things I am doing. It can’t hurt anyone if they don’t know. Right?

Pushing two fingers inside my pussy, I clench and moan. Fuck that feels good. I imagine its Knox’s skilled fingers thrusting into me. So capable, strong, they would know all the ways to bring me to orgasm. Don’t ask me how I know that I just do. You only have to look at a man like Knox McCabe to see he would be a beast in bed.

Lifting my leg, I set my foot on the bench, opening myself up further. Grabbing the shower head, I turn it to a high setting. Bringing it between my thighs, I position it, so the water hits my clit. My breath hitches at the sensation taking over my body. I have gotten myself off before, but this feels different. More intense.

I work my fingers harder, my eyes squeezing shut as I pretend it’s Knox bringing me pleasure. The orgasm builds and he feels it. He tells me that I am his good girl. Tells me I am sexy. Tells me to come on his fingers. An orgasm barrels through me, my pussy spasming around my fingers, as my release hits me and I call out Knox’s name.

My eyes pop open, chest heaving as I come down from my high. Shame and guilt coat my skin. What have I done? I just had the best orgasm of my life—to thoughts of my mom’s fiancé.

Dropping my foot to the ground, I slump down on the bench as tears prick my eyes. I would never hurt my mother—it’s one of the reasons I haven’t told her that I don’t want to act—and I know if she ever found out about this weird fixation I have on Knox, it would cause her pain. I don’t believe she is telling me the truth about their relationship but that doesn’t mean what I am doing is right. I should not be looking at him in any way other than as my mother’s fiancé and I definitely should not be masturbating, while thinking about him.

Pushing to a stand, I attach the head and turn the shower off. Exhaling a breath, I step out, grabbing a towel. Wrapping it around me, I move into my bedroom only to freeze and gasp at the figure sitting on my bed. A smug smirk curves his lips as his eyes caress every inch of my body. Anger slithers through me. How long has he been in my room? Why is he in here? Did he hear me touching myself?

“What are you doing in here?” I hiss, pulling the towel around me tighter as if it can shield me from him.

He pushes to a stand as he slowly stalks toward me. I swallow at the hunger in his eyes. He looks like a lion about to devour its prey. “Your mom sent me to get you for dinner.” He stops in front of me, his hand darting out. I flinch but he ignores it as he runs a finger over my bare collarbone. “You didn’t answer when I knocked on your door and called your name, so I came inside and heard the shower. I was going to leave…” he trails off, his smirk widening. My heart pounds. Cheeks flame. I know what he is going to say. “But then I heard something.” He leans in, his hot breath hitting my ear. “My name from your perfect mouth as you came. It was like music to my ears. I want to record that sound. Set it as my ringtone. My alarm. Make it into a song, give it its own goddamn playlist and listen to it over and over again.” My whole body heats at his words and I squeeze my legs together when a pulse starts between them. “But it won’t be enough,” he continues. “Not now. I need to hear those little sounds, my name from your lips as I pound my thick cock into your little pussy. I would make you scream for me. Scream until your lungs ache. You would love it. Every single inch,” he finishes and I have never been so turned on but mortified at the same time.

As if remembering who I am talking to, I snap out of my trance, putting space between us. “You can’t say that to me.” My voice is strong but there is no conviction in it.

“I just did.” He grins. “You were just touching yourself to thoughts of me, so it’s only fair. Don’t worry baby, I have done the same imagining you.” He winks before his face turns serious. “I will warn you now dove. You just started something and believe me when I say that you are going to finish it.” He winks, turns on his heel and leaves.

And me, I stand there, mouth gaped open in shock.

What the fuck have I done?

* * *

The next day at school, I am a mess. My thoughts are all over the place after last night.

Dinner was uncomfortable to say the least. Knox never took his eyes off me, and I just know he took great pleasure in watching me squirm. His dark eyes gleamed with satisfaction every time I so much as reacted to his hungry looks and words. Fortunately, Mom was so engrossed in some email exchange with her agent, she didn’t seem to notice. I felt so guilty about what happened that if she had asked me to ditch everything, become the actress she wants me to be, I would have given her anything in that moment.

Thankfully it never came to that. I ate my dinner and got the hell out of there, away from them both.

Now I stroll down the hall, Kenzie, Talan and a bunch of other friends at our side with a big faux smile on my face. It’s a fake it ’til you make it kinda day, even more so than normal. Inside, I am a knot of anxiety just waiting to bump into Knox. While on the outside I’m pretending to be the perfect, confident, popular cheerleader, they all think me to be.

Talan throws an arm over my shoulder, startling me from my inner turmoil. Leaning down, he presses a kiss to my temple. I glance up at him with a questioning smile. He grins on a shrug. “Keeping up appearances,” his voice is a whisper for only me to hear. I search his face. I wish I could like him. Perhaps then, I wouldn’t be in this mess, fantasizing and touching myself to someone forbidden, off-limits.

I chew my lip in contemplation. Maybe, I should force myself to like him. Become a real couple, lose my virginity to him. Everyone already thinks that we are fucking. I should just get it over with. What if I sleep with Talan and it evokes the feelings, I am missing for him? It could be a good thing, could end this fixation I have on Knox. Hmm. Something to consider.

Lost in thought, I don’t notice that we have come to a stop or that the bane of my existence is glaring between me, Talan and the arm wrapped around me. My eyes meet Knox’s stormy ones. My stomach drops at the look of anger on his face. His jaw clenches as he grates out. “Everyone, except for Talan and Madison get to class. Now,” he barks, making everyone scurry away before his gaze moves back to us. “Do you like your throwing arm Talan? Is it important to you? Hmm?”

I feel Talan tense beside me before he laughs nervously. “Of course, I do coach. Why do you ask?”

Knox stares at him, a look so deadly, I swallow. Hard. “Then remove your arm, from Madison’s shoulder, before I fucking break it. You have ten seconds before I remove it myself. If I do that, I can’t promise I won’t destroy it completely. If I do that, you will never play ball again. I am being reasonable Mr. Conetti, giving you a chance. But your chances will lower if you don’t let go of her. Now.” He jerks his head to me as if to prove his point.

Talan’s mouth drops open as I stand here too stunned to say anything. The man is certifiable. “Are you serious? Come on man, I know you are marrying her mother but aren’t you taking the fatherly thing a little too far?” He laughs out, arm still over my shoulder.

Knox steps forward. “I am deadly serious. Now fucking let her go,” he booms, making me jump. Talan’s arm drops from me instantly. Knox, smiles. “Good boy. Now it would do you good to remember what I said. I don’t want you touching Madison. In fact, I don’t even want you looking at her, so run along now. I need to talk to Madison. Alone.” Talan does as he is asked. He looks from me, shock splayed all over his face, then back to Knox before he scurries down the hall. Pussy.

“Knox,” I hiss his name, making his eyes come to me. “Talan is my boyfriend.”

“Not anymore. I may have taken a few hits to the head during my career and my memory may be a little off, but I am positive it was my name you called last night,” he states.

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