Page 89 of His Property

I get swept up in it, in her, and I blame my impulsiveness on the oxytocin pumping through my veins. When I speak, it’s merely a reaction, like I have no control of it, no conscious plan for the moronic words that leave my mouth. Whether they’re true or not.

“I love you.”

Mae stiffens, and I close my eyes and immediately wish I could call them back.

“You don’t have to say it back,” I say when only a couple of seconds go by.

Mae places a hand on my chest, and I open my eyes and face the stars. I’ve fought with myself for two weeks over this woman, and I told myself I didn’t really want her. I didn’t need her. I was better off without her, and she was ahellof a lot better off without me.

I was wrong. We’re fucking perfect together. Who else could I possibly share myself with? Who could she possibly share herself with?

“Do you mean that?” she asks, her voice soft.

I turn my head toward her and look her in the eyes. I take my time answering, but the more I try to make sense of it, the more I know it’s true. I’m a monster. Truly, I am, and I know it. But I know what love is. I know I’m capable of it. I know what it feels like. Maybe I’ve never experienced romantic love, but if this isn’t it, I’ll never find it. Before Mae, I never expected to.

“Yes,” I say and leave it at that.

Her soft eyes search me for several seconds before she lays her head on my chest, and I go back to looking at the stars. She traces one of my scars with the tip of her finger, and I wrap my arm around her. It surprisingly doesn’t hurt when she doesn’t say it back. I feel like I have all the time in the world, as long as she doesn’t run away.

“I think I know how I want you to pay me back,” she says.

A moment goes by, but I lazily roll my head to look at her. “How?”

She takes an unnerving amount of time to answer, and my heart races the longer I wait.

“Don’t push me away again… That’s all I want.”

My heart slows, and I drag in air. I let out a slow breath and squeeze her shoulder. “I promise… I’m glad you told me about your fear of abandonment. I really fucked up before, didn’t I?”

She twists her lips and thinks for a moment. “I think I knew deep down that you’d come around, but… yeah. It’s been a hard couple of weeks.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sighs, her breath skating across my chest. “I’m happy now.”

I kiss her head and close my eyes.

“Me too.”

24

MAE

“Favorite color?”

I chuckle and press my elbows into the table, swirling the wine in my fourth glass. My cheeks are flushed, and my skin is tingly. I’ve never been one to hold my liquor, and I think Victor gets a kick out of it. That’s my best guess based on how he’s tipping me off before I can drink the whole glass.

We’re at his place, sitting at his kitchen table with our dinner plates pushed to the side. Victor’s plate has a few bites of pasta left, but mine is bare. He followed through on making me dinner, and I have to say, he has a lot of potential.

“How original,” I sarcastically say, giving him a wink and taking a sip of wine. Some spills onto my chin, and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. Victor stares at me with that amused grin of his.

“I still want to know.”

“Orange.”

“Orange?” His nose crinkles. “Whose favorite color isorange?”

“A true Broncos fan, that’s who.”

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