Page 66 of His Property

I cup her face and lean down to kiss her. Her lips are smooth and soft, and I sigh against them. Kissing her is more than a stress relief, it’s like an escape. Like nothing else matters, and for a whole hour, I’m safe. Free of the world. Free of judgment. Free of everything. I could kiss her all night, but she pulls away from me and looks into my eyes.

“I have another reason,” she says, her voice soft.

I push her hair back and plant a kiss on her forehead. “What’s that?”

“No smartass comments.”

“No smartass comments,” I parrot, this time meaning it.

“You’re the only person in the world that’s seen a part of me I’m ashamed of, and you treat it like it’s a gift just for you. Youlikeit. And even though I know everyone thought your basement looked horrific or thatIlooked horrific, I know you were your version of gentle. You were never as hard after that first day, and it made me trust you.”

I open my mouth, but she presses a finger against it.

“Before you tell me I’m stupid for it, or that I shouldn’t trust you, just answer something for me, okay?”

She pulls her finger away when I nod.

“If I had said the safe word, would you have respected it?”

I stare off for a moment to think carefully about how to respond. “No,” I say, knowing it’s the wrong answer. I meet her eyes and frown. “Not at first, at least… I’m sorry.”

“Then why give it to me?”

I shrug and hate myself for telling the truth, but I can’t lie to her about this. As badly as I want to.

“Because I was curious about how far you’d go before saying it.”

She looks away, and I cup her face to bring her back to me. “But I can tell when you’ve had too much. I promise, I never would’ve broken you.”

She studies me, and the silence swallows me up. The longer she stands here, the harder it’s going to be to resign myself to a second best choice. Because second best doesn’t come close. There isn’t anyone like Mae, and there never will be. I didn’t realize having her was even an option until now, but I’m suddenly scared to lose her.

“Okay,” she says at last.

She pulls away from me slowly, and my chest starts to ache, but I force my hands to lay limp at my sides and my legs to stay rooted in place.

“One more question.”

I tip my chin so she knows I’m listening.

“Be honest, okay? You don’t have to lie to me. I’m a big girl.”

“I’ll be honest.”

“If you were to go to that club and find someone willing to be with you, would it be the same?”

“No.”

“At least think about it before you—”

“I don’t need to think about it, Mae. I’ve already told you, you’re irreplaceable.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and looks down then back up at me. “Right, but that was when I was your prisoner. The night we made our deal, you told me how much you hate to pretend. The illusion’s over.”

I stare at her for a minute while I gather my thoughts, and now she’s the one uncomfortably fidgeting in the silence. I get what she’s saying, but she’s wrong. The illusion isn’t over. There was never an illusion in the first place. I’m not pretending with her. I’m not faking shit just to earn her trust, and I’m not agreeing to rules that I know I’m going to break. None of my smiles are fake. I haven’t spent a moment trying to charm her. I’ve only been myself. She’s underestimating the effect she has on me, and I’m beginning to think I’ve underestimated the effect I have on her.

She wants me.

I want her.

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