Page 53 of The Mastermind

I had forgotten that just now. The way she looked at me, her eyes full of lust, had tugged at my control. I could see the desire in her eyes, and no one man could shield himself from that force.

I filled the two mugs with hot water and cursed again for not having more control over the situation.

Audri had just come home from the hospital. She had a minor wound on her ankle, and she was still healing. What was I thinking? I glanced down at my cock.

You’re not thinking. He is.

Did she think I was taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable?

But damn, that kiss was everything I had imagined and more. Her soft and responsive body was perfect in every way. I was fortunate to get a taste of her today, but that would be it.No more.

After adding the oat milk she had requested, I brought over the two mugs of tea and placed them on the coasters on the coffee table. My tea was plain. I wasn’t in the mood for drinking anything except scotch or brandy. I needed something stronger to scorch her taste from my tongue, so I didn’t crave her any longer.

When she looked at me, her confused expression prickled my skin. I had to address what had just occurred. I sat on the couch and turned to her. Her cheeks flushed a lovely pink, and her hair was a wild mess, looking sexier than any woman I’d ever met. She licked her moist lips, which were still swollen from our kiss.

“I’m sorry about—”

“Don’t insult me, Remi,” she huffed, her lips formed into a grimace. “I’m not sorry I kissed you. I liked it a lot. Iwantedthat kiss. If I hadn’t, your balls would be bruised right now.”

I cringed at the image but also wanted to laugh at her straightforward comment. I didn’t like this confusion whirling inside me. I raked a frustrated hand through my hair. The nonsense between us had to stop.

“Maybeyouwanted me more than I wanted you,” I said, and the lie stung my tongue.

She hopped onto my lap, straddling me, and her brown eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. When my cock hardened and twitched under her, a knowing smile formed on her lips.

Fucking traitor.

She arched an elegant eyebrow. “You’re not a very good liar.” Her fingersbrushed my hair aside and traveled along my jaw, tracing my lips, repeating what I’d done to her earlier. “Tell me you don’t feel anything. Tell me your body isn’t reacting to me. Tell me there’s no chemistry between us.” Her finger traced the seam of my lips. “Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.”

I wanted to save her from me—from the man she knew I was, but I couldn’t form the untruthful words. Not only did I want her—I wanted her more than I needed to breathe. I understood going against my desires would only steer me down the wrong path, but at that moment, I didn’t know what to do.

She shifted her hips and drove me crazy. I thought about tossing her back onto the couch and finishing what we’d started, but I clasped onto the last thread of control and delivered the truth.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Audri.”

“What makes you think it’ll be ruined? What if it blossoms into something beautiful?”

“You look at the world differently than I do.You’re like a gem. Things glitter around you as though a rainbow follows you. I dwell in the dark, where there are no colors. I don’t want to drag you with me.”

“That’s honesty I can accept.” Her eyes softened, and she got off my lap and dropped beside me, her body still touching mine. I wanted her back in that position, but I knew better.

You can’t have things both ways, idiot.

“What if I want to walk in the dark with you?”

Her words sucked my breath out of me. My heart cracked, not from pain but from a spear of light penetrating my hardened heart.

“Audri, I don’t want to hurt you. You know my reputation, but there are other things you don’t know about me. You have a fairytale outlook on life, and I’ll smear it with muck and grime. My heart is dark, Audri, and has been for a long time.”

“You don’t know how often I’ve dwelled in the dark,Remi. I’m familiar with it more than you know. You might think a rainbow follows me, but in truth, I’m chasing the rainbow. Most people are. I want to believe in magic, angels, fairies—all the beautiful things that destroy the dark. I believe there’s something outside of fear, pain, and guilt. Otherwise, life isn’t worth living, right?”

I recalled my conversation with Grayson and admired her even more for having the courage to see life from that perspective. Wrapping an arm around her, I pulled her close.

“Can you tell me about it? Sometimes, talking about the pain helps remove it.”

“When I was eight, my mom, uncle, and Grayson were grocery shopping. I was home with my dad and my cat, Mochi. I’d had him since I was five. We were best friends.” Her eyes glistened as she spoke about her pet. “Mochi followed me everywhere and enjoyed weaving between my legs.”

Tears spilled from her eyes, and I wiped themaway.

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