Page 42 of The Mastermind

Did I want her to have that power over me?

This battle wasn’t a simple sumo match. It symbolized the battle between what Ishoulddo versus what Iwantedto do. It should be easy, black and white, but at the moment, I didn’t know which would win.

I stared into those brown eyes where I could see myself. Her lips opened slightly, releasing quick gasps of breath.

Lowering my head, I wished the helmet would disappear so I could brush my lips against her ear. “I told you, I don’t lose.”

She sighed, and her lips parted even more. It took everything I had to stop myself from kissing her.

I shifted, preparing to roll off before I did something that would embarrass us both.

“No, stay,” she whispered, and my heart skipped a beat. “I like you in this position.”

My lips tightened, trying my best to hold on to my self-control. “This is a dangerous game we’re playing, Audri.”

“A sumo match isn’t dangerous, Remi.” She smiled, playing coy.

“You know what I mean.” My gaze flicked to the sexy mole calling me. That mark had winked at me since we were teens. I wanted to lick it and make it mine, but I knew better. Again, that damn war between me and myself battled on.

“This is just a continuation of the ‘game’ you started when you brought me dinner. I want to keep playing.”

I wanted to crush my lips to hers and show her, prove to her she didn’t know who I was or how dangerous I could be. She’d be better off not playing with fire. I wasn’t her type. She needed someone who wanted stability and attachment. I wasn’t that guy and knew it a long time ago. The Remington she knew was only one aspect of the whole man. I didn’t want her to know all of me. The world was cruel, and I had to be cruel––or worse––to survive. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

She was the flame that seduced the dark in me. The flicker of light made the darkness question itself. Yes, Audri had me considering where I had been and where I was going.

My mind struggled to make a reasonable excuse to leave her alone.

Despite all the rationality, my body failed my mind. My dick kept aching, and my heart pumped even harder. The overloaded thoughts in my brain and the pressure throbbing between my thighs could crush her, so I rolled off to lie beside her.

People shouted and cheered in the distance, the grill sizzled, and Royce cursed. I tuned out the noise, concentrating on her breathing. My hand was inches from hers, and my fingers dug into the grass, struggling between wanting to hold her hand and pushing myself up to get away.

My fingers brushed hers, getting her attention. “I don’t want you to get burned, Audri.”

She faced me, showing no amusement in the brown eyes that had a hint of gold from the sunlight. “Are you afraid of me?”

This sumo match was supposed to be carefree and fun. How did we end up lying on the grass discussing a serious topic?

I didn’t give her a truthful answer. I couldn’t. How could I tell her I was afraid of how she was unraveling me? That would admit defeat, and I feared losing control of my life—the life I had worked so hard to achieve and maintain.

Instead, I offered her something that was safe for both of us.

“No, it’s a matter of choice,” I said, looking up at the blue sky.

I’m doing this for you.

“Oh.” Her fingers retreated from my touch, and a flicker of pain flashed across her eyes. She resumed the impassive look.

My chest ached as I pushed myself to a standing position.

Audri struggled to push herself up. I offered my hand, but she refused it and got up on her own.

“It’s a matter of choice for me too,” she said, referring to her decision todenymy help. “Thanks for the combat.”

She waddled over to a blonde girl, who helped her unzip the outfit.

Well, the battle was over, and no one won.

Audri and I stayed out of each other’s way for the rest of the party. Had I done the right thing by pushing her away?

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