Page 41 of All the Devils are Here

The last word was a sob.

Laurent took my face in his hands. “Sweetheart, that’s not how it works.”

I was crying now, the way I hadn’t really let myself. And in spite of the fact that I needed to let him go, his arms were the only place I wanted to be.

“Do you understand?That’s not how it works,Meg.”

“No, I don’t understand.”

He’s still holding my face, lowering himself so our eyes are level. “There’s nothing in this fucking world that can create a mating bond. Nothing that can fake it. Not magic that grants wishes or the most powerful being in the universe. You are born with it, or you aren’t. And you are my mate.” The last word was said with an awe I didn’t understand.

Slowly, I reached up and pulled his hands away from my face. “You pushed me away,” I told him. “Twice. You told me you couldn’t.” My face twisted up, and I turned away for a second, breathing and trying to control the outburst of emotions. “And now it’s just… you want me?”

“I have never not wanted you, Meg.”

“That’s not true—”

“Never.” I faced a Laurent I didn’t recognize. So filled with dominance and power it left the gentleness of the doctor behind. “I wanted you the second I saw you, and I have ever since. But I didn’t think you were my mate.”

“Why would that matter? I wanted you,” I said. “I didn’t care about you not being my mate, sowhy?”

“Because you deserve better.” He heaved the words out like they were sheer pain. All of him looked like he was struggling, from his legs in perfectly fitted jeans to the shirt stretching across his shoulders. Everything was taut and tense, like he was holding himself back. “I am immortal, Meg.”

“So?”

“So?” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You deserve more than someone who can’t grow old with you. Who you’d have to pretend you weren’t with as soon as our ages started to show so people wouldn’t ask questions. You deserve more than to live your life in hiding. And I knew that if I let myself love you, I would never stop. After your life, it would be an eternity of beingwithoutyou.”

I stared at him as he came closer, eyes on mine. “I was selfish,” he said. “Not wanting the pain. And I thought I was selfless enough to help you let me go. Then, I thought you were dead, and I knew that not loving you would be worse than the grief of a thousand lifetimes. Even if you weren’t my mate, I was never going to be without you again. You still deserve better, but even I’m not selfless enough to be without my mate.”

He kissed me. Softly at first, brushing his lips over mine. Suddenly we were both ravenous. My hands were in his hair and his were pulling me closer, lending heat through the nothing material of this dress.

It was so much more than the kiss we’d shared in his kitchen, or even the brief heat we’d shared a few days ago. I didn’t quite believe it. This was real? How could it be real? Christine’s mates knew the minute they saw her. “How come you didn’t know?” I asked, breaking away. “How come it wasn’t until now? I didn’t—”

“I don’t know.” His lips brushed my forehead. “I don’t know, and I don’t care. I wanted you to be my mate so fucking badly, Meg. Every day, I wanted that, and I knew it was never going to happen, and it was hell. I don’t know why I didn’t feel it before, but I don’t care. You’re mine.”

The last word sent a quiet thrill of power through me, and I looked up at him, realizing how wrong I was, and how wrong I’d been. “Oh, fuck.”

Laurent searched me like he thought I was hurt. “What?”

“Say that again.”

Leaning down, the words were whispered against my lips. “You’re mine.”

I savored the sharpness of him, mint, and sweetness I couldn’t put a name to. “You’re telling the truth?” I asked once more. “This can’t be faked?”

“No,” he said. “It’s so much deeper than that. No one would—human, hybrid, or magic—would survive the kind of power needed to embed something like that in your soul. You’d be ripped apart. It is a part of you, as much as your DNA.”

Not able to help myself, I tucked my face into his chest. “Then you’re not the only one I have to apologize to.”

“Oh?”

I wrapped my arms around his chest, and his settled around me like I always imagined they would. My mind and body felt like they’d been put through the wringer, and I still wasn’t sure how to feel or what to do. But something deep in my chest had calmed.

Was that why it had felt so wrong? My own soul recognizing mates and me saying no? Was that why I’d felt such horror and sorrow I couldn’t grasp?

“You’re not the only one who’s told me I’m theirs in the last day,” I said, voice breaking. “But I didn’t believe them. I thought it wasn’t real. Even though I wanted it to be.”

I felt the sudden presence of others, and Laurent looked up over my head.

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