Page 18 of Forever Flirting

“Hey Nana,” Alex smiled openly. “This is Caleb. Do you mind if we come in for a little bit?”

“Is the trollop with you?” his grandmother said bluntly, looking at him with a silver raised eyebrow and her bright red lipstick that she always wore. “Or should I be expecting a parade of runny noses one of these days, because my grandson cannot act like a respectable adult?”

“Love you too, Nana,” Alex grinned, dutifully leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. “You look beautiful.”

“You are something, young’un…” she laughed, shaking her head at him. “Get in here and let me see this boy. I made those infernal cookies, too.”

“Cookie?” Caleb chirped, smiling at the older lady – who softened perceptibly before Alex’s eyes, causing him to smile.

“You just c’mon in here, munchkin, and let’s wipe that sweet little nose,” his Nana crooned, her bright red lipstick puckering as she made a kissing face before peering over her glasses at Alex, tersely.

“I smell a dumpster.”

“That’s him.”

“Well? What are you waiting for? Change him, boy…”

Alex chuckled as he walked inside, kissing his grandma on the cheek again as he passed her, feeling her pat him on the back in silent approval. His Nana was feisty, sharp-as-a-tack, and aggressive… but she loved the same way, too – intense.

Walking inside her home was like a time capsule.

The same floral loveseats sat with the pink tufted rocker recliner in front of the television. An oval cherry coffee table was there, and he remembered playing soldiers underneath when he was a boy, completely bored when he was visiting.

Dropping the diaper bag down, he hesitated, not sure where to change Caleb’s diaper, and hoped Mallory had some pants in there, too.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not changing him,” his Nana smirked. “I’m going to make some coffee and get both my boys a cookie… changing him is your job – so do it and then put that dumpster-diaper in the trashcan outside. I don’t want it stinking up my house.”

“Change him… where?”

“Ain’t you ever changed a young’un?”

“No?” Alex chuckled openly.

“Oh, sweet mercy…” his Nana uttered under her breath. “Okay, I was going to let you do it on the couch or my bed, but let me get a towel for the floor.”

“You change children’s diapers… on the floor?”

“You are going to, because I have a feeling Caleb is going to be quick to try and get away – and I don’t want him bonking his head when he rolls away.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“Yep. I’ve gotta see this – and I’ll make the coffee in a few.”

Alex watched his Nana get settled in the rocker after fetching him a towel, which he dutifully spread on the floor, and sat Caleb down.

Ten minutes later, Alex was completely humbled and beside himself.

He had never seen a child move so quickly as Caleb did the moment his pants were off. Alex had gingerly removed them, trying not to get debris anywhere. His grandma had tried to warn him – and the moment Alex had gotten the diaper off Caleb’s wriggling body is when the human rocket literally launched.

All hell broke loose.

Those were the fastest, excruciating, most toxic, ten minutes of Alex’s life. While he’d messed up several times in the past – nothing prepared him to be sitting on his grandmother’s living room floor, the object of her uncontrollable laughter… and covered in toddler urine and poo.

He had been worried about having pants for Caleb – never imagining he would need clothing for himself!

Nana was sitting in her recliner, wiping tears from her eyes, as Alex looked down at his shirt that had been sprayed – while Caleb sat nearby, bare-buns on the carpet, chewing on a finger and looking distinctly pleased with himself.

“Isthiswhat parenting is like?” Alex asked in quiet, stunned, disbelief.

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