“Yes – Caleb wears a diaper,” Mallory sighed heavily, flipping her hair back out of her face, and glaring at him. “There’s a McDonald’s, Alex. Go change him.”
“How?”
“What do you mean, ‘How?’ – You go and change his diaper, wipe his butt with baby wipes, and strap another clean diaper on him. Haven’t you ever been around a child before?”
“No.”
Mallory said something exceedingly foul aloud under her breath as she threw her head back and stared up at the sky in complete annoyance, obviously praying for patience.
“Okay, look. How about we both agree that you are NOT cut out to be a father if the sight of snot and poop are bothering you…”
“I can do this,” Alex snapped angrily – and heard the boy whimper. “Sorry,” he muttered to Caleb, looking at Mallory again. “Icando this, but I might have a few questions.”
“You fly a multi-million-dollar plane – you can handle a baby.”
“But what if…”
“Figure it out,” Mallory said, cutting him off. “You think this is so easy to learn? Well, then… go ahead and learn. Nobody teaches you how to be a parent – except another parent, or you learn from your child. You’ll have to excuse me if I have zero urge to stay here and chat with you, but seriously… you might fumble a few times – oh wait?!” she smiled bitterly, standing up straight, and snapping her fingers sarcastically as she suddenly glared at him. “I remember!You should bereally used to fumbling badly by now.”
Alex ground his teeth and kept his mouth shut.
“Thought so,” she smiled nastily at him. “Now, you said you were going to your grandmother’s? I suggest you drink from that font of knowledge that I sure didn’t have access to – and learn how to handle your son.”
“You seriously aren’t going to help me?”
“Did you help me?” she countered, raising an eyebrow.
“It was different,” Alex ground out angrily as the boy touched his hand that was exceedingly slimy and shivered openly. “I didn’t know about him and was assigned to a base, working.”
“Ah yes… circling back to that, again – eh? You didn’t know because you didn’t call.”
He stood there, feeling his temper boil at that moment as every dig Mallory jabbed at him, hit home. Yeah, he wasn’t a good person – but he also wasn’t a complete dog either.
“You’re right,” he admitted painfully.
“I know,” she said smugly. “Now, Caleb needs his food to be exceedingly soft, tiny bites – and I mean TINY – and you cannot leave him alone for a second. He is sneaky and fast. His diapers are in this bag, along with wipes. If you run out – go buy some more. If he cries, figure out why. If you have an emergency? Call 911 and pray that I don’t kill you before they can save your wretched hide.”
“That’s it?”
“Oh - and buckle him in the car seat. Children are pretty hardy, and you are going through the first month jitters… but with a two year old. You’ll be fine and I’ll see you later.”
“Can I keep him overnight with me?”
“I don’t know –can you?” she retorted pointedly.
Alex hesitated, and glanced at his wet hand again.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted openly. “Let me see how today goes.”
“I’ll be working until seven tonight, so if you need something my cell number is in the bag. I expect you won’t have to use it because you’re his ‘fantastic Daddy’, remember?” she said in a saccharine voice, smiling sardonically.
Walking up to him – Alex started to back away and hesitated as Caleb immediately reached for her.
“Hey sweetie, Mommy is going to work, and you are going to go utterly ruin your Daddy’s day, pookie. I can’t wait until he pulls off your diaper. I hope you get him just like you get me,” she whispered, kissing Caleb on the cheek despite the glistening trail that was there.
Ughhh!he thought, and then hesitated in alarm as her words sank in.
“Wait… WHAT?”