Page 74 of Even in the Rain

And I get why she thinks every kid who goes to SH Prep is an asshole, but I’m slowly convincing her she’s wrong. You can’t take people’s lack of backbone as a sign that they are total assholes. Like most of those kids who just stood by when someone treated her like crap—they’re not necessarily bad people. They’re weak, yeah. And it’s sad they never stood up for her or reached out or whatever. But that doesn’t make them the same level of jerk as the people who full-on bullied her. They’re just people whose own issues made it so they couldn’t find the strength to be more than bystanders. Not the people you want as close friends, for sure, but still, not horrible people.

That’s the difference between Caro and me: I like everyone until they give me a reason not to. Carodislikeseveryone until they give her a reason not to. Kind of a shitty way to go through life, in my opinion. But I get why she thinks that way. A lot of people have given her a lot of reasons to be jaded about the kids at SH Prep.

And the bullying hasn’t stopped, either. That first day we got back to school after the aquarium, when it was pretty obvious the two of us were an item, I know Caroline got a lot of flak. People tried to hide it from me, but I caught enough of it. And I stepped in and shut it the hell down.

Which pissed Caroline off.

Big time.

And confused the hell out of me. Because, like I said, I shut it down. But she says she doesn’t want her relationship with me to be the reason people stop bullying her. She legit told me she doesn’t want to be the stereotypical geek (her words, not mine) who suddenly gets accepted because the star quarterback took notice of her. And that I shouldn’t want to be the stereotypical football jock (again: her words) who always wants to step in and solve his girlfriend’s problems like she can’t handle them herself.

So, yeah. Girl put me in my place like a freakin’ boss. And I don’t mind that about her; that she not only refuses to see me as just some meathead—she doesn’t wantmeto see myself like that, either. So, I’m trying to stay out of her ongoing battle with the jerks at school who give her a hard time—even when I knew damn well Maddie Jarvik was giving her shit the afternoon I caught her right up in Caroline’s face in front of her locker. When she told me she was just asking Caroline about calculus homework. Or when I saw Justin Tanner grabbing a book off her desk and making comments about it. Words that made her turn bright red and shrink into herself. And she said nothing—just ignored him while he read lines out loud and mocked them and had the other guy with him laughing at her, too.

She says it’s the best way to handle the bullies: to just ignore them. Make herself invisible so they’ll get bored and move on. But I will never agree with her on that. I will never be okay with Caroline Heinz trying to make herself invisible, to the point of seeming virtually non-existent. No way, man. There’s nothing healthy about that. And it’s not even effective. Clearly—because they’re still harassing her after years of this shit.

But she asked me to stay out of it, so I do. Because it’s important to her.

Even though I hate it.

Even though I want to punch Justin Tanner in the mouth every time I see him at practice. Because that’s two people now, who are close to me, that Justin Tanner has shit all over. One more strike, though, and I’m laying into him. Dude has it coming, and it’s not just about Caroline. It’s about him needing to learn respect and when to shut his damn mouth.

But right now, we’re with people from my crew she’s slowly warmed up to over the past couple weeks, and I keep darting looks over at her, because I love seeing her around my friends like this, with a smile on her face. Too absorbed in the impromptu game of football now to be self-conscious or shy or whatever. She’s on the other team and we’re totally kicking their asses, but I can tell she doesn’t care one bit. None of us do; we’re all just having fun hanging out, enjoying the fall weather before it turns too cold for this kind of spontaneous outdoor stuff.

It starts to rain after a while, but still, no one mentions stopping. Our clothes are already dirty and grass-stained at this point—what’s a little mud on top of that? And it ends up being an awesome afternoon. My team kicks the other team’s ass and we decide they need to buy a slice of pizza for each member of the winning team. But really, it’s just an excuse for us all to head over to Hooks.

It’s raining harder now, and the group splits up briefly as everyone heads off to get their stuff and change, and we agree to meet up at Hooks in half an hour. I sling my gym bag over my shoulder and walk over to the bleachers where Caro is getting her backpack. I watch her leaning over her bag as I walk across the wet grass, stray curls falling around her face from the topknot twisted on her head and her cheeks pink from running around for the past hour. The tip of her tongue peeks out one corner of her mouth as she concentrates on looking for something in the front pocket of her backpack.

When I reach her, I spin her round and pull her up against my body, and she lets out an “oof!” sound, and then she laughs.

“You surprised me.”

“You look really hot right now,” I tell her, leaning in for a kiss. Her cheeks flush pinker, still so bashful anytime I compliment her. She smiles against my mouth, and I use the opportunity to slide my tongue between her damp lips. She relaxes into my arms, slumping into me a little.

“That was fun,” she says, in between kisses.

“Mm-hmm.”

“I totally let you win, by the way,”

I pull back. “That right?”

“Yeah.” She grins playfully. “I felt bad. It was obvious you’re not really the athletic type. And your football skills are honestly… less than mediocre. So, I went easy on you.”

“Less than mediocre…” I cock an eyebrow at her, letting my gym bag slip off my shoulder as I add, “You know… It just occurred to me…” I duck and push my shoulder against her stomach, lifting her off her feet and hefting her over my shoulder as I rise to my full height again. “I never taught you how to tackle.”

She squeals between laughs as I lock an arm across the backs of her thighs, carrying her fireman style along the edge of the field to the massive maple tree by the bike racks. I ease her onto the grass beneath the canopy of fiery yellow leaves, and her hair falls out of its twisty bun thing, splaying like waves around her face.

She’s glowing right now. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

“Oh my God,” she laughs. “You’re crazy.”

“You’re beautiful,” I respond, lowering myself to my knees and stretching out so I’m leaning over her body, hands holding me up on either side of her head. I lower my face to meet hers and we kiss some more. Overhead, the rain patters against the leaves, some of the raindrops slipping through and landing on my back, soaking through my hoodie… Caroline’s hair… her cheeks…

She pulls back after a few minutes and her eyes skim my face, then hold my gaze. “What are we, Seb?” she asks softly, lifting her arm to trace a finger lightly along my lower lip.

“What do you mean?”

She lowers her hand to my damp shoulder and averts her eyes. Shrugs kind of awkwardly. “I mean, is this…. Am I… your girlfriend? Are we dating?”

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