Page 53 of A Realm of Fire and Ash

"Oh." I consider Caius for a moment. "Why him?"

"He's the Lord of the Hunt and head of the Royal Guard."

He shifts to face me. "Why do you care?" he asks, searching my face.

I shrug. "No reason," I mumble and look away, my heart fluttering.

"Really?" he prods, his voice low.

The way he looks at me makes me feel exposed. I bite my lip and sigh. "I guess I just wanted to know more about you," I admit softly.

A smile slowly spreads across his face, and something in the air shifts. "I'm flattered." He takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to meet his gaze. "What else do you want to know?"

My breath catches in my throat and adrenaline rushes through my veins. I'm not sure what to say. I opened Pandora's box and now I'm not sure what to do with it.

"Everything," I blurt out eventually, steeling myself for whatever may come next. "I want to know everything."

He chuckles, his eyes flashing with amusement. "My favorite color is black," he declares, his voice low and passionate, capturing me in its thrall. "But not black like the shadows that haunt us in our sleep, but black like the color the night sky turns when the sun retreats into nothingness. I love the smell just before it storms, because it's like all the bad is being washed away by a cleansing rain, and the sound of darksteeds taking flight. That's my favorite thing about being here." His words drift away, his gaze distant, as though searching the room for something long forgotten. "I used to have parents, and I'm still getting used to being alone." He releases my chin. "Do you have any more questions?"

I shake my head, overwhelmed by the vulnerability in his words. We sit in silence for a few moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Then I reach out and take his hand in mine. He looks at me with surprise but doesn't pull away. He intertwines our fingers and gives my palm a kiss.

My secrets are what caused so much pain to the man I love. I don’t want to hold them alone anymore.

My vision blurs with tears as I choke out, "My best friend is in prison because of me." I committed an abominable crime, yet he had taken sole responsibility for it. Nothing I said could convince them otherwise, and he had stayed true to his decision to protect me at all costs.

"He must love you very much," he murmurs, rubbing his thumb across my hand.

The unbridled love on Wilder’s face that day on the beach cleaves my chest in two as the memories resurface. He was always protecting me.

I might not be his anchor, but he’s mine in all the ways that matter.

"And I love him too," I whisper, my voice cracking with grief.

"How long is he in for?"

"Forever," I reply, feeling the weight of the sentence crash down on me.

He nods and pulls me close, and we lay together, holding each other tightly as the screeching and howling outside picks up. There are no words to convey the depth of my sorrow, nor can he offer me respite from the guilt I feel. All we can do is hold each other and accept that in this place, injustice and heartache are the only constants.

Sometime in the middle of the night, sleep claims us both, and I wake in his arms, content to stay in that moment. I'm safe here, in the arms of this man who no longer feels like a stranger, and for now, that's enough.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

MORTE

Az works ferociously, transforming my wooden shack into a metal fortress, where I'm safe from the monsters and beasts of hell. With each clank of metal and deafening bang of a hammer, I feel more at ease. As he works, I pepper him with questions about the cruel reality of the underworld, Aggonid's malicious reign, and the ways in which everyone must obey his rules or else. He answers diligently, but his tone changes with each passing remark about Aggonid—it's clear he despises the ruler of this realm. His hatred intensifies with every rivet and bolt he places, until the shack is a fortress that only he can breach.

He speaks of Caius, and I’m completely taken aback to learn that Caius and Aggonid are actually mates and not just lovers, sending a wave of jealousy through me.

The idea feels foreign and out of place. I examine the feeling, and decide it’s because they get to have each other, and I’m stuck on the outskirts, watching them being happy.

"What's Irid's deal?" I ask, my curiosity piqued.

"She loves Caius, but things between Aggonid and her are complicated, and that causes contention with her brother."

Dark images of a shared past flash through my mind. "How so?" I press on, dreading the answer.

"Aggonid forced her to execute her mate, Vayne," comes the chilling reply. The shock of it knocks me back and I drop the canteen I'd been about to take a sip from. Water soaks into the ground as I scramble to pick it up, my heart racing wildly as I try to comprehend the agony Irid must have gone through. “He makes her work for him, but she hates every minute of it.”

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