Page 54 of Mace

“He’s not a criminal, grandma. Stop saying that.” Imogen crossed her legs and leaned into me. “He’s just part of a motorcycle club.”

“Do you love her?” Janet asked.

“Gra–.” Imogen started.

“Oh, stop, Imogen. I wasn’t kidding when I said I say what I want now. Though I didn’t need to ask if he loved you because I could see it the second you walked in the door.”

“You thought I was mom when I walked in the door. I don’t think your vision is what you think it is.”

Janet tsked. “I knew it was you, Imogen. I was just testing you.”

“Testing me?”

Janet nodded. “Testing to see if you still hate her as much as I do.”

“I never said I hat–.”

“She does,” I interrupted. “More than when she lived here.”

Janet nodded while Imogen sputtered.

“About damn time. The only thing that woman ever did for you was give you life and then tried to take it away for fifteen years.” Janet grabbed the remote and turned the volume down.

“I, uh, you…” Imogen shook her head. “You hate my mom?”

Janet nodded. “I loved her for a long time, and then she had you. Something changed in her, and I couldn’t handle it.”

“You stopped loving her when she had me? I was the change you didn’t like?” Imogen asked.

Janet shook her head. “No, girl. I stopped loving her when she started hating you. She had an angel in her arms; instead, she saw you as a burden. A hindrance to the party life she loved so much. The party life she had to blame for not even knowing who your dad was because she was so strung out on drugs that she didn’t know whom she talked to, let alone whom she slept with.”

Imogen knew all of this. Hell, the whole town of Sutter Creek knew this. It wasn’t a secret that Sally Parker was not mother of the year.

“I tried for years to get you from her, but she fought it just to piss me off. She kept you because I wanted you.” Janet closed her eyes and sighed. “She had you until she was so neglectful that evil stole your innocence.”

“Mama always told me you hated me,” Imogen insisted. “Hell, I thought you hated me more than she did.”

Janet opened her eyes, and I could see the years of sadness in them. “I loved you the second you were born, child. After fifteen years, I finally got you, and you were so broken and beaten that I let the hate I had for your mother harden me. I hated the world for tearing you apart and leaving me with the pieces to put back together.”

“So you decided to hate me, too?” Imogen cried. “I just needed someone to love me, and you decided to hate me!”

Janet closed her eyes and dropped her chin to her chest. “I’m not proud of what I did, Imogen. I gave you the physical things you needed but nothing else.”

“But you couldn’t give me the one thing that was free. I just needed to be loved. I just needed to believe for one second that I wasn’t a burden on everyone around me.” Imogen pointed at me. “This man, who was a boy when I met him twenty years ago, gave me that love without ever wanting anything in return. He protected me when he didn’t have to and was there when I was ready to lay down and die. I should have gotten that from you and mom, but you two were more worried about hurting the other one that in the end I was the one who was hurt. Mom is off living her life without a care in the world, and you–.”

“And I’m here every day regretting my choices, Imogen. I know nothing I say to you is going to take back the hurt and pain, but I want you to know I regret it. I regret letting my anger rob me of you.”

Imogen stood and ran her fingers through her hair. “And you want to know the craziest thing? When I was hurt, raped,” she sobbed, “I still ran to you. I ran from this wonderful, caring man to you so you could neglect me and pound into me that no matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough.”

“Babe,” I called. I didn’t want this for her. I didn’t want to watch her relive the years of neglect and hurt. We should never have come here. Getting myself off the hook wasn’t worth the pain and hurt Imogen was feeling.

“No,” she spat. “She says she loved me; then she is going to hear all about the things I had to endure because she loved me but hated my mother more.”

“Tell me, Imogen,” Janet sighed. “I deserve to know it all because I’m the reason it happened. I couldn’t put aside my own feelings to care for you.”

Imogen took a deep breath. “I came to you when I was raped, right? Told you I had no idea who did it to me.” Her eyes darted to the side. “I lied. I knew who he was. I saw his face while he took my innocence away.” Imogen sobbed and closed her eyes. “I also watched the life leave his eyes when I killed him.” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “And just like every time before, Mace was the only person there for me. I didn’t have another choice when I killed Kent. He told me he was going to kill me because he knew I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut.”

“Oh, Imogen,” Janet cried. “Oh, god.” She clapped her hand over her mouth, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, honey. I never imagined those things would happen to you when I left you with your mother. I didn’t know,” she sobbed. “I didn’t know that kind of evil would touch you.”

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