Page 17 of Love Thy Brother
I shook Saint off and walked away, storming from the chapel while I had the chance.
Outside, damp winter air hit me as hard as the wicked guilt I deserved. My feet dragged, legs heavy. Maybe that’s why I stopped when someone called my name.
Whenhecalled my name.
“Riv, wait.”
My boots rooted to the floor.
Rubi caught me up, darting in front of me quicker than a man his size had any right to. “Wait.Please.”
“Don’t say please like that.”
“Why not?” Rubi tilted his head, his honey-coloured hair falling into his tired eyes. “I mean it and I need you to know. Besides, heartfelt inflection never killed anyone.”
Neither had he. Unless I’d missed something more earth-shattering than Cam’s deadliest enforcer having a child. “What do you want?”
“You know what I want.”
I didn’t. For years, I’d been so fucking sure, but these last few... man, I didn’t know anything anymore, least of all him. “Just get it over with, okay? I’ve got work to do.”
Rubi’s hands hovered over my shoulders. He wanted to touch me, but he was scared.
Good—fuck. What was it about loving him that made me such an arsehole?
“How far has it gone?”
I blinked. Rubi had stepped closer, still not touching, but his spicy, smoky scent washed over me, dizzying my brain enough that it took me a second to remember what the ever-loving fuck he was talking about. “None of your business. How did you even find out about it? I asked Saint last summer if he was spying on me. He denied it.”
Rubi shrugged, not bothering to hide his shifty gaze. “Saint’s not a liar.”
“Then how?”
“You won’t like it.”
“So? I don’t like a lot of things. Doesn’t stop them happening.”
“You wanna go somewhere and talk?”
“I want to go home. Alone. So just give me the fucking tea.”
Hurt shadowed Rubi’s bewitching gaze. Another stab of guilt lanced me, but I was running out of rope. I needed to get the fuck out of here before I did something catastrophically stupid. Like beg him to come with me.
“It was Mateo,” Rubi admitted. “He knew I was worried about you, so he recruited Alexei and they did their thing. I didn’t know about it until this morning, and I get that you feel fucking violated, but I have no regrets.”
“None at all?”
Rubi reared back, rocking on his heels.
We weren’t talking about MC espionage anymore. Without conscious thought, I’d taken a sledgehammer to our conversation and changed the subject.
Rubi shook his head. “That’s what you think? That I regret it? That I regretyou?”
“Don’t you?” This time it was me who stepped forward. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me there’s nothing about this fucking mess that you wish never happened?”
Rubi laughed. Humourless. Exhausted. “Riv, if you ever let me speak, you’d know exactly how I feel.”
“You mean I can’t get it from the cold sheets you left behind? Fuck, man. You even took the condom with you, so don’t pretend you’re all heart now.”
