Page 158 of Love Thy Brother
“I am. The doctor just said so.”
Rubi took a shuddering breath and drew back to look at me. Like, really look at me, all the while still holding me in his vice-like grip. “He really said that? Cos he told me you were lucky to be alive.”
“Well, you saved me, right?”
Guilt darkened Rubi’s already distraught gaze. “No, I didn’t.”
A frown built behind my eyes. It fucking hurt, but I was powerless to stop it. “You did. I remember you shouting at me.”
“You do?”
Did I? I rubbed my face. “I think so.”
Rubi sighed and eased his big frame onto the side of the bed. “I didn’t save you. Honestly? I thought you’d OD’d and I’ll hate myself for it for the rest of my life. It was Locke who figured out the boiler was trying to kill you. Him who carried you out then went back in to clean the powder up before the feds arrived. I was there, but... fuck, I don’t know what I was, but I ain’t a fucking hero.”
Blurry memories began moving in my brain like rootless puzzle pieces desperate for a home. My brother’s coat. The ten bag in the pocket. “I didn’t take anything.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“I threw it away.”
“I know that too. And I’m so goddamn sorry I thought you’d done anything else.”
“Don’t give me too much credit.” I tried to sit up. Failed and sank further into the bed. “I wanted to. It took everything I had to tip that bastard down the sink.”
“But you did tip it down the sink.”
“How were you supposed to know that? Me banging it up my nose is a hundred times more believable than what actually happened.”
Shadows marred Rubi’s face again. “I feel shitty about that too. That fucking boiler, man.”
I shivered. “I know. What if Oscar had been there with Aras? If anything had happened to them...”
Emotion rushed me. I pressed a hand over my mouth and dug my fingers into Rubi’s arm.
“Hey.” He drew me into another hug. “It’s okay. They’re fine. Oscar’s still at sea and Nash is already hounding gas engineers. The whole thing will be sorted before the boat comes in. New boiler. A detector in every room. It’s not happening again, I promise.”
“I had a detector. Why didn’t it go off?”
“Battery, maybe?” Rubi kissed my cheek. “It wasn’t sabotage, though. It was an accident.”
Those facts didn’t stop us from falling into a mutual guilt brood. I couldn’t get over what might’ve happened if Oscar had been home with his young son, and I didn’t want to think about where Rubi’s elaborate imagination had taken him.
I wrapped my hands around his, tracing his tattooed knuckles with my thumb. “Skylar said he hadn’t called Cam yet.”
Rubi winced. “We still haven’t. Only me, Nash, and Locke know what’s happened for now, and I’m gonna keep it that way for a few more hours. Let the old goat enjoy some good news for a change.”
“Good news?”
Rubi’s face brightened like a spring dawn. “Juana had her baby this morning. Another girl.”
“Is she okay?”
“Better than you. The wean’s tiny, though. Five pounds, same as Lark.”
I rubbed the stray tear from his cheek. “What did they call her?”
“Hope.”
