Page 937 of Deep Pockets

“I know.” I swiped at the tear in my eye at the mention that my father’s beloved bar had been torn down by Wright Construction to put up high-end condominiums. And that I’d then gone and worked for the people who had done it.

I stopped the car in front of the condos, and Landon and I both slid out. I nodded my head at the small park across the street. It was deserted at this hour, and we easily found a park bench that faced the condos. As I faced the building that used to be my home away from home, where I’d spent more hours than my own home, tears poured out of my eyes. And I let them. I let myself feel all the pain.

“I miss him,” I finally admitted. “I miss him so much.”

Landon wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I know.”

“I miss the man he used to be. When he used to be a good father. When he didn’t do drugs, then sell drugs, then fucking bankroll the bar with his drug money to try to keep it afloat. I wished he hadn’t been the kind of dad who brought strange women over all the time. Married women. The kind who I never really knew their names, and they switched too often for me to care. I wished I hadn’t had to clean up his fucking messes all the time. Help him in his drunken stupor and cry myself to sleep when he was in a drunken rage so bad that only passing out would get him to stop.

“But he loved me. You know…despite all of that…he loved me. He tried to provide for me and let me do anything I wanted. But it…wasn’t parenting. After Mom left, he was surviving. And letting me do anything I wanted wasn’t charity. I’m lucky I had Emery and that her mom helped me out as much as she did.”

“Maybe he’s changed. Why don’t you reach out and talk to him? You don’t know; he might surprise you.”

“No, I can’t.” I swiped at my eyes.

“But why?”

I shook my head. “Because.”

“Heidi—”

“Because he spent all of my college funds on drugs!” I shouted, standing up and throwing my arms out. I let out the last ounce of depressing news. The part I’d held back from everyone. “He spent all the money that my mom had left me for college. He pawned off all her jewelry and every last thing that had ever belonged to her. And he left me with nothing. Now, even though I’m working my ass off, I’m broke as hell, Landon. I need this job more than life itself. And it’s all his fault.”

“Fuck,” Landon whispered.

“Yeah. So, he gets one day. I give myself one day to miss him. That’s all he deserves.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Landon

Spending that day with Heidi, when she was at her most vulnerable, had changed everything. I had fallen for her. Completely, utterly, unequivocally.

And I was a fucking asshole.

I knew why she needed this job. I now knew without question why this was so important to her. Yet I was gambling with it. I was gambling with her. I could feel the delicate tightrope we were walking on, and I feared our feet would slip if I wasn’t careful.

I didn’t know how to be more careful.

Sunday morning, Heidi was wrapped in my arms when I got a text from Jensen.

You still coming to church?

“Fuck,” I spat.

“Hmm?” Heidi asked, peering up at me with sleep-deprived eyes.

“I forgot it’s Sunday. I’m supposed to meet Jensen for church. Want to go with me?”

“Won’t that look bad?” she mumbled.

I gritted my teeth and nodded. “Yeah, probably. Fuck, I’m sorry. You can stay here and keep sleeping. I’ll be back in about an hour, okay?”

“All right,” she said with a big yawn. “Come back to me soon, okay?”

“God, I wish you could go with me.”

“One day,” she said, leaning into me for a kiss.

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