Page 788 of Deep Pockets
I unroll the dress.
It’s a gorgeous little black number that might’ve been inspired by Audrey Hepburn’s iconic look in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
It looks suspiciously close to my size.
I put it on.
The thing fits me down to a millimeter. Almost as if someone took a cast of my body and designed the dress around it.
Did Vlad hack some online purchase I made? Or did he look at me so closely that he could guess my measurements this precisely?
Befuddled, I open the second box.
A pair of shoegasmic Christian Louboutin pumps is inside—and they fit me as perfectly as the dress.
What is happening?
I check myself out in the mirror and can’t help but wolf-whistle.
It’s official. There’s no way I could say this isn’t a great outfit without sounding like a dirty liar.
Taking a selfie, I text it to Ava.
The reply is instant:
Hot! What’s the occasion?
When I tell her it’s to go to a Russian restaurant with Vlad, Precious rings right away.
“Tell me everything,” Ava demands as soon as I pick up.
I bring her up to speed, concluding with my doubts about this being a date.
“Oh, it’s a date. The guy is majorly into you. He used the squirrel toy, for fuck’s sake.”
I squeeze the phone harder. “What about the other woman?”
“Ask him about her,” she says. “Maybe ply him with a few drinks first.”
“I guess…”
“No guessing needed. Do it. Also, have you done your makeup and hair yet?”
“No.” I look at myself in the mirror. “My makeup isn’t bad. I just got back from work.”
“I’m hanging up, and you’re dolling yourself up. Do you want me to send you some useful YouTube videos?”
I roll my eyes, though she can’t see it. “I can use the internet all on my own. Bye.”
I dive into my makeover and end up with an updo and enough makeup to make a naked mole rat look presentable. I even trim the eyebrow wigs a little and gel them up to keep the bushiness under control.
Just as I’m finishing up, the doorbell rings.
Crap. He’s here.
Diving into the shoes, I click-clack over to the door.
“Who’s there?” I say pointedly, so I don’t get chastised for opening the door for criminals with impeccable timing.
