Page 48 of Promise and Punishment

“Well… everyone watches porn sometimes, don’t they?”

“They do, even though most won’t admit it. But I’m askingyouspecifically.” She added, “I only assumed that you did. And since you like horror movies, I figured you enjoyed getting scared. My question’s not so random… sexual arousal and fear can come from the same place. But why is that? How can two opposite feelings come from the same spot in the brain?”

I took a moment to really consider her question, wondering if it was possible for me.

“I don’t know. Because we’re complicated?” I guessed.

“Exactly,” Ivanna tapped her head. “We. Are. Complicated. People can be two opposite things at once. Alejandro could be Alex Rivers, just like you can be two different versions of yourself. Maybe you don’t like parties, but also, maybe you have been conditioned to not like them.”

“I think it’s preference,” I admitted, honestly assessing that parties often carried unlikeable characteristics: loud noises, rough crowds, fighting, screaming.

“Remember, there may be good in the bad, and bad with the good. Don’t commit yourself to being one person. Yes, you like horror, but maybe you also like porn.” She jutted her chin towards a dark corner of the room, making eyes in a direction for me to follow. There in the dimly lit shadows was the distinct shape of a couple; rowdy but secluded. They were dancing slowly, grinding in the dark, the girl’s dress hitched above her thighs. “So fucking naughty, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I think I need another drink.” I responded, observing the man’s unbuckled belt, his cock out and stiff, disappearing inside the woman as they danced. They were fucking in the dark, their small moves sometimes interrupted with the quick, extra thrusts needed to get them closer to orgasm. Each pump caused the girls mouth to open wider, for her tits to bounce a little higher.

“I should join, show them how it’s done.” Ivanna popped a pill in her mouth, taking a swig of tequila.

“You would?” I asked, amazed by her honesty.

“Not before, but now I would. I was scared to try it in the past, but one day I discovered I actually enjoyed it. I found another part of me, babe.” She shrugged, “I won’t lie, the parties are crazy, but this shit isn’t for Alejandro, it’s for Alex Rivers, the character. I fuck around because I want to, but Alejandro is more careful than that, more astute with what he wants.”

“And that would be me…” I confirmed, fitting myself into the most complicated relationship I’d been a part of.

“Bingo,” she pretended to be inspired. “He’s not subtle, though, neither am I. I’m sure he’s been clear about how he feels. He doesn’t get involved with this trivial shit, but let me tell you, he pays the price for it. It was good for when he was a young, single man, mostly because he had nothing to lose, but I’m not so sure about that now. He’s not Alex Rivers, he’s not even himself anymore. He’s changing, or at least he’s trying, and all of that stems back to you, Gemma.”

“To me?” I responded truthfully, unsure of how to react.

“Feels like a heavy burden to bear.”

“Only because you’re still finding out who you are. You’ll agree with me someday; you’ll discover what it’s like to be more than what you thought you were.” Ivanna swiped her phone open, checking the stats of their latest social media numbers. “Who knows how long he’ll pretend to be this Alex character, and honestly you shouldn’t have to worry about it. We’re so close to meeting our goal of eight million likes for tonight, and once we do, he’ll leave this place, walking right out that door with you…onlyyou.” She smiled as the lights suddenly went out, cascading the venue into a loud, black pit.

He was here, and the fans knew it.

Alex Rivers finally arrived.

Chapter17

Gemma

“I’m only going to ask this once, and if you lie to me… I’ll blow a hole of sunshine through your fucking head.”Alejandro appeared over the large projective screens that circled the club, showing a clip of an Alex Rivers film that echoed from above. He pointed a revolver at someone’s head, clicking its hammer into position as everyone in the crowd chanted his name.

“I fucking love this scene,” Ivanna placed a hand over her heart. “Alejandro hates it, but it made him rich.”

“I’ve never seen any of his movies,” I admitted, earning the most perplexing look on Ivanna’s face.

“No wonder he likes you.” She sighed, “Word of advice, you may want to plug your ears for this.”

“You wouldn’t do this; you don’t have the guts!”The antagonist on screen shouted at Alejandro, who then appeared amused.

The crowd repeated each following word in unison, reaching a peak of excitement that bordered on cultish. “Of course I do. IT’S ME, BABY… DEAL WITH IT.”Alex pulled the trigger, setting off a barrage of lights and confetti that shot out into the pit of cheering fans.

The place exploded.

To everyone’s surprise, Alejandro appeared in the spotlight, circled by a group of bodyguards in suits. He waved subtly, his signature brood heightened from the collection of flashing cameras that went off in his face.

“Whatever happens, don’t leave this booth,” Ivanna warned. “It’s safer here.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” I shuddered, watching as fans reached for Alejandro, some throwing bottles in his direction to be signed. He ignored the chants, the confetti of broken glass, and people who tumbled toward his stage. A man from the balcony tried to get closer, falling, losing his balance as he attempted to descend from a drape. Alejandro wasn’t kidding about how out of control it could get. “Is that guy going to be ok?”

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