I joked around to hide the seriousness of how I felt; torn and confused.
He began to let go.
“I won’t keep you waiting. Believe me, I’ve done that enough. I’ll let you pack in peace.”
“Wait…” I stopped him, wiping my eyes, not ready for another goodbye. “Just stay with me. Talk to me. I won’t be long, I promise.”
He stared at the bag, then back to me, “Stay with you? I’d stay with you all night, Gem, so long as you’d have me.” He graveled into my cheek, and regardless of his intention, he still gave me butterflies. I knew I should’ve apologized about the drink I hurled into Camilla’s face, and for ignoring him the last few weeks. I was sick with the feeling of it all. There was so much to still discuss, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood as the grin he suddenly flashed made my heart jump.
“I love that you still have him.” He said, sounding relieved.
“Andy?” I exclaimed as Parker laid on my bed, holding my stuffed giraffe. “He’s by my side every night, can’t sleep without him.”
“I guess five-hundred and twenty tickets was a good investment.”
“I can’t believe it took you fifteen tries to get him. Totally worth it though.” I proudly reminded how Parker popped ten tiny balloons just to win a prize for me.
“Well, you just had to have him, and in a way, I felt like he’d take care of you in the moments we were apart, especially on the nights when you stayed with your mom. I couldn’t be there, no matter how bad I wanted to be… but he could. It’s funny what you think as a kid, that there’s magic in the things you do, like I’d win him, and he’d somehow be indebted to me… that he’d return the favor and watch over my Gemma.”
My fingers grew stiff as I raised a half-folded shirt up to my chest, praying with it. I couldn’t believe what he said, and how it frightened me, like suddenly I missed the most important memory I never had. Didn’t he know how many times Andy saved me from nightmares, that he wasn’t just a toy, but an extension of Parker all along? Why didn’t he share this before?
“Is that true?”
“Of course.”
“I never knew that…”
“You never knew a lot of things, but that’s my fault. I know I’ve been quiet… but I’ve always tried to show it. I’ll never forget that one night you slept over, when you forgot Andy back at your mom’s. We were going to the Hamptons in the morning, and there was no way that I was going to let you go all summer vacation without him.”
“You rode your bike, carrying me on your pegs in the middle of Brooklyn after midnight,” I replied, realizing how terrifyingly stupid we were at that age.
“Forty-seven blocks both ways,” he brushed the unkept fur on Andy’s head, “but that didn’t matter, that didn't stop me. I would’ve ridden all night, had it made you happy…”
He took a sharp breath, his shoulders hunched.
I wish I knew what he was thinking, his face crinkled and upset, swallowing a lump in his throat that made my heart throb.
“Jesus,” he mumbled. “I was just a boy, Gemma, and I should’ve never promised Claire—” He stopped. I caught him staring away, biting his upper lip.Claire?I leaned closer, placing my knee onto the bed, needing to understand. In what little time it took to open my mouth, he beat me to the punch, quickly and confidently cutting me off. “But I’m not a boy anymore, I’m a man, and you’re a woman, a beautiful one that doesn’t need my protection. I couldn’t see that before, but I do now, and that makes me feel safe, like I can finally say what I want to say…” Parker looked up at me, more gentle and serene than ever before. “Gemma. I’ve been wanting to—”
“Preciosa…” Alejandro appeared in the doorway, interrupting Parker as I looked over.
“Alejandro,” I spoke loudly, still surprised that he actually came for me. “You were supposed to wait in the hall,” I said frazzled, stuck between both men, afraid of what could happen.
Alejandro stepped into my room, cautiously focused, “I couldn’t help myself; you were taking too long, and I worried.”
Parker casually stood from the bed, carrying my bag. “Gemma was just about to leave, but you’re both welcome to stay if she needs more time.”
I stared at Parker, his calmness sexier and more compelling than the wolf I witnessed before. I took the bag from his hand.
“I think I have everything,” I said as Parker placed his hand on my back, a sensation I’d never get tired of.
“I think so, too.”
I cleared my throat as we made our way to the front door, opening it, before turning back to Parker, giving him a quick hug to say goodbye.
“Better shake, Rattlesnake.” I whispered in his ear, holding him, still unsure if I could ever let him go, his laborious sweat sweeter than not, aromatic like spring in Central Park. He pulled back, gently fixing the strap to my bag. I knew his voice would be devastating, but I yearned for it regardless.
“Bye, bye, Butterfly…”he said quietly, allowing me to turn away, to be free just like I wanted.