Lifting my gaze, I try to find the right smile. Sincere sympathy is what I’m going for, but my mind blanks when I lock eyes with him. He’s goddamn immaculate, as Witte would say. He’s ridiculous and totally unfair perfection from head to toe. His three-piece suit looks freshly pressed but somehow still drapes possessively over muscles I know are hard and defined. Sapphires set into a fleur-de-lis pattern twinkle from his cufflinks and tie clip. His Windsor knot is so perfect it looks photoshopped, and I want to loosen it with my teeth.
His glossy dark hair would sport waves if he grew it long enough, but it always looks fresh from the barbershop because Witte handles trimming and shaving and God knows what else. I remember how those black strands felt in my hands, thick and silky. He’s got a powerfully square jaw and a firm chin, with sculpted cheekbones that direct attention to cruel, sensual lips.
Some men would be too screwed up emotionally and mentally by a miraculously returned-from-death wife to care about how they look. Not Kane. No, he’s hotter than ever. And he looks this good working from home, which he’s been doing the past three weeks since he arranged forherto be discharged from the hospital. Aliyah is furious about that. She can’t stand the existence of another woman in Kane’s life whom he considers more important. It’s almost enough to make me enjoy having Lily around.
“Hi.” I mean to say more but can’t. I spend hours planning the interactions I’ll have when I’m alone with Kane, but whenever the opportunity arises, my goddamn mouth stops working.
There’s no way around it: Kane Black is terrifying. He’s gorgeous in the way of an uncontrolled fire, so destructively mesmerizing that you’ve burned to ashes before you realize you’re in danger. He has a way of being eerily still while making you feel as if he’s whirling around you like a tornado. I’m no psychoanalyst, but I’d bet women – myself included – are aroused as much by the fear he evokes as by his physical attractiveness. It’s not pleasure alone that his type of sex appeal promises; it’s devastation.
His gaze licks over me. Kane’s eyes have always reminded me of coal. Flat, hard and unfathomably black.
Does he notice my hair? It’sherexact shade, matched to the swatch of her hair I cut the first time I visited. The difference is slight enough that no one I’ve crossed has noticed anything, but Kane is more observant than most. I didn’t cut it short, as her hair is now, choosing to stick with the style Kane’s been looking at for years in that old photo.
I’m more like the Lily he’s crazy about thansheis at this point, and I’m hoping that’s working in my favor.
Abruptly, his face softens, and my breathing constricts. I don’t think he’s really looked at me since I married Darius, but he’s definitely looking now. My pulse quickens, and I shift on my feet. There’s a flask of vodka in my bag, and my mouth waters at the thought of it. I don’t care what anyone says; there’s nothing wrong with liquid courage.
He slides a hand into his pocket, casual as you please, and he’s instantly both sexier and more accessible. “Witte tells me you’ve been coming to sit with Lily a few times a week.”
I start to shrug that off – I’m just a good person doing a good thing – but then I think that’s too blasé for the circumstances. “I wish there was more I could do.”
“You’ve been reading to her.” It’s a statement, not a question.
Reaching into my bag, I pull out an e-reader and some gossip mags I picked up at the newsstand on the corner. “I don’t know what she likes, so I try for a little bit of everything.”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a half-smile, but his gaze is cool. “Romance novels.”
“Oh …” It would be my luck if Lily were another one of Suzanne’s fans. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. “Good to know. Well, there’s been a few in the rotation. I’ll add more.”
I’ve also told Lily dozens of stories about the many lookalikes Kane has fucked, running through the participants in my study with meticulous detail. If it’s true that the subconscious is always aware and recording info, I’ve given plenty of juicy particulars for Lily to use in divorce court.
Then again, she left him for some reason. Maybe she already knows exactly what kind of man she married. If so, perhaps she returned because she can’t stay away either.
Damn it. Not knowing her story is driving me crazy.
Kane steps closer, and I suck in a quick, surprised breath. I catch his scent, that unique blend of cedar and the beach.It’s bespoke, Witte told me when I asked. And addictive. I keep breathing in to smell him, trying not to look like I’m gulping air.
I’ve avoided being near him or even looking at him for so long, living off memories instead of the flesh-and-blood man. It’s the only way to prevent making a fool of myself.
There is nothing safe about being this close to him now. Adrenaline floods my bloodstream. Fight or flight. Or better yet, fuck. My nipples harden into painful points, and my clit swells and begins to throb.
“I appreciate it,” he says, his voice low, the words unhurried. He reaches out and gently surrounds my arm within the circle of his hand, sliding down the silk sleeve of my blouse to grip my wrist with the barest of pressures.
It’s intimate. Sensual. Dominating. And I’m here for it. Totally. I’ve dreamed of this moment for nearly two years. I sway toward him in open invitation. I want to tear into him, gouge that dusky skin until bright red drops glisten. He’d like it. He likes sex rough and animalistic – rutting like a beast who enjoys the kill as much as an orgasm.
His gaze drops to my chest, and he bares his teeth in a lightning-quick smile. It’s boyish, mischievous and utterly disarming.
“Sometimes it’s good to have family,” he murmurs absently. And just like that, Kane’s arm drops back to his side, and he withdraws. I’m dismissed in an instant.
Family?!
My horrified stare brings a spark of derisive amusement to his eyes. A split second there, then gone.
“Mr. Black.” Witte stands at the top of the two stairs that lead down into the sunken living room. “Dr. Hamid has arrived.”
Arousal turns to rage and boils up from my gut to burn my throat. I want to scream but swallow it back. Everything that’s gone wrong in my life results from crossing paths with him.
“I’ll see her in my office,” Kane instructs Witte, turning away from me.