Page 54 of So Close

“Oh, Kane.”

“I’ve been so focused on the past, on who you’ve been, on everything I don’t know or understand … You owe me answers – you’ll concede that – and I have a ton of reasons for being cautious about prying them out of you. But expecting you to provide those answers without first making you feel safe was idiotic. You can understand, can’t you? You didn’t come back to me willingly. I found –”

“– me. You found me, and we’re together now. Does anything else matter?” Can I convince you to leave the past behind, or does it imprison you?

You caress my bare shoulder with reverent fingertips. “The need for those other answers is urgent,Setareh, but I already know the most important thing – I’m dead without you. I’ve been dead without you.”

“No.”No, no, no.How can anything hurt this much and be survived? It seems impossible.

You clutch me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but I don’t care. “Let’s start over. Just promise me I’m safe with you, and we’ll go from there.”

For several slow, wrenching heartbeats, I let your words sink in. All that you’ve said and all that you didn’t. I pull back to meet your gaze and see hope, love and sadness.

I take both your hands and hold them tightly. “You’re safe,” I vow quietly, knowing full well what the covenant will cost me. “And I’m going to make you happy.”

As you study me, your features soften, and my fear eases.

“I’m sorry, Kane. Sorry for everything. Sorry I made you –”

“Stop.” Leaning forward, you kiss my forehead and speak against my skin. “I don’t want apologies. I just want you.”

My head bows. I play with your wedding band. Beneath it, I spy skin so pale I know it hasn’t seen a moment of sun in years. “You never let go.”

“I never will.” You grip my hands. “I can’t.”

Tilting your head, you press your lips to mine. It’s sweet at first; brief, gentle presses. Then you taste me. Need bursts to life so swiftly I gasp with the force of it. Your tongue delves through the opening I’ve given you, tangling with mine and stroking. Your spiced honey flavor fills my mouth.

I sway toward you, my hands still trapped in yours. “Let me touch you.”

“Not yet.”

I want to run my fingers through your hair and feel the warmth of your skin.

“Kane. I need –” I jolt at the sound of the doorbell.

Your mouth smiles against mine. “Pizza?”

Disengaging, you stand. I watch as you disappear down the hallway to the front door. My lips throb. My nipples are tight and hard, my skin too hot. The promise of more is between us now, and I can’t think of anything else.

I hear your voice and a reply, then the door is shut and the deadbolt locked. You come back with pizza, handing me the box with paper plates and napkins balanced on top before you head to the patio doors. You check the lock, then pull the heavy drapes, sealing us in the dark belly of the house. Then you type in a code on the security panel and fully shut out the world.

When you turn back to me, I’m still holding the box in the same position as before.

You scrutinize me, your body growing taut. “If you’re giving me the choice,” you say quietly, “I’m happy to eat cold pizza. In fact, I’d prefer it that way. Hours cold.”

Expectation sizzles between us.

You’re going to make love to me.

Accepting that as inevitable after weeks of believing it impossible makes me tremble. I’ll finally feel you everywhere. All over me. Inside me. I task a corner of my mind with memorizing the coming hours in graphic detail. Every caught breath, every shiver of pleasure, every hard thrust of your gracefully muscled body must be remembered in XXX-rated specificity to savor again in the future. It may be all I’ll ever have.

“If you don’t kiss me again right now,” I say thickly, swallowing past a suddenly dry throat, “I’m going to die.”

“No.” You come to me with that dangerous stride. “Next time, I go first.”

I toss the pizza box on the coffee table. The plates and napkins slide off and hang precariously on the edge, but neither of us cares. You sink onto the sofa beside me, pulling me close. My head drops back in supplication, I grip your lean waist and my mouth lifts to yours.

The moment your lips seal over mine, my hands clutch the soft material of your T-shirt. The slow, deep glide of your tongue sets me on fire.

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