Page 71 of Save Me

Dammit. Ryker was right.

“Mom, I…” Swallowing hard, she smiled. “Would you like to come in? We’re having a girls' night.”

Kate’s eyes lit up. “Really? You sure the girls won’t mind?”

Arianna appeared next to her. “Of course we don’t mind, Mom. I think it’s about time we did something like this.”

No one spoke as Kate came in and sat down at the table with them. They had already finished their dinner and were working on a tray of assorted cookies, and Ryleigh wasn’t sure what to say to make things less awkward.

Unfortunately, the silence was getting to her and she knew she had to speak. “Listen, Mom, I…”

“No, I need to say something to you, Ryleigh,” her mother interrupted nervously. “I was wrong. I didn’t see what I was doing as being bad or negative or how it might embarrass you. In my mind, I was being a good mother.”

When she looked up and saw the look of utter shock on all three faces, she clarified her reasoning.

“You see…I grew up with overprotective parents. They always picked who I was allowed to date. I got lucky with your father, but that was after a long line of boys I never would have dated in a hundred years.” She laughed softly. “I thought that’s the way it was supposed to be.”

“Maybe back when you were growing up, Mom, but you had to realize that things change,” Ryleigh said gently.

“Your father and I have very similar thoughts on how we raised you kids. He was very overprotective of you girls, and so I thought I needed to be too. We didn’t worry about your brothers as much because…well…”

“Because you’re not living in this century,” Arianna chimed in. “Mom, come on. Your generation wasn’t as closed minded as you and Dad have been. That was Grandma and Grandpa’s generation. It’s like you’re stuck in some sort of time warp.”

Looking down at her hands that were folded in her lap, Kate nodded. Then she looked up at Ryleigh. “Your independence scared me. From the time you were a little girl, you always wanted to do things your way. You didn’t like to listen to anything I said or how I said to do it. And it bothered me because it always worked out for you. The older you got, the more I started to envy you.”

“What?!”both she and Ari demanded.

“You might not believe this, but…I never regretted marrying your father, even though he was a boy my parents picked for me. But I never had the guts to question why they did things the way that they did or why they thought the way that they thought. It was just the way things were done.” She sighed. “The older you got, Ryleigh, I feared that your independence would lead to you being alone. So I got more and more aggressive hoping to prompt you to take more of an interest in finding a nice guy and settling down.”

“Did it ever occur to you to talk to me?” she asked. “I kept telling you over and over how much I hated what you were doing to me and yet you never thought to stop and just have a conversation with me?”

“I realize now that I was hyper-critical of you, but I thought I was doing it out of love.”

“I didn’t see it that way,” Ryleigh told her. “You kept chipping away at my self-esteem until I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin.”

Kate nodded solemnly. “I know that now, and I’m so very sorry.”

For several moments, no one said a word until the silence got to her again.

“I don’t know where we go from here, Mom. You really hurt me and humiliated me. It got to where I didn’t want to even leave the apartment because I never knew who you were going to ambush me with.”

Another nod.

“I wish…” She sighed. “I just wish that you had at least tried to see things from my perspective,” Ryleigh went on. “That you would have put the emphasis on getting to know me and asking what I wanted to make me happy rather than thinking that it was all about finding someone to marry me. I mean…what if I don’t want to get married?”

The shocked look on her mother’s face was almost comical, but now wasn’t the time to laugh.

“Maybe instead of focusing on a wedding that I might not want, you should have been happy to invest in my education. Maybe instead of telling me how to attract a man, you should have been encouraging me to love myself. Because really, how can I possibly love anyone if I don’t even like who I am?”

“Oh, Ryleigh…”

“I needed confidence, not criticism! I needed to know how to take care of myself instead of being treated like I needed to just stay close to home until some guy chose me!”

“You’re right,” Kate said firmly. “You are absolutely right. Your father and I did you a great disservice—mostly me. While Arianna fought her way to go away to school, we didn’t listen when you tried to do the same. I don’t know how to make up for that. I’m not sure if there is anything I can do.”

They all fell quiet again until her sister spoke up.

“You could promise to never fix her up with anyone again and be happy that she’s in a healthy relationship with Ryker…”

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