Page 114 of Save Me

“It’s not really my thing,” Ivy told her. “What I wanted most was to just be able to sleep in and relax and have nothing to do. I’ve got books I want to read, some recipes I want to try, and zero responsibilities. It’s going to be glorious.”

“And over way too soon. Mark my words.”

It took another ten minutes for them to be done. “Just relax for a little while, Mr. Easton. I’ll be back in once we have the results from your CT scan.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Connor said and didn’t let out an easy breath until he and Ivy were alone again. Then he didn’t hesitate before trying to get some answers. “So you’re a nurse now?”

Pulling up her chair again, Ivy sat and fidgeted slightly with her hair. “A paramedic, actually.”

“Really? Wow! Good for you!” Then he paused. “I thought you were going to go to school for nursing.”

“That’s how it started, but then I had the opportunity to work with some paramedics over in Magnolia Sound and I sort of got hooked. Apparently I do well in high-stress situations.” With a small laugh, she shrugged. “I do love it, but I was starting to feel a little burned out lately and opted to take some time off.”

“And didn’t want to go on a cruise.” He smiled at her. “You never did like being on the water.” That was something he definitely remembered. They’d gone out on a friend’s boat one time to go fishing, and she’d gotten so sick, they’d never gone again.

“And I still don’t.” Smiling back at him, he watched as she started to relax.

She wore her blonde hair shorter than she used to, but her face was still as perfect as ever. He wanted to tell her that but didn’t think she’d appreciate it.

At least not yet.

“So, are you home on leave?”

“No. I’m done. I was discharged a few days ago.” He didn’t want to talk about why. She would find out soon enough.

All Ivy did was nod and Connor had to wonder if maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Perhaps he should have just had Jamie come with him because the awkward pauses were…well, awkward. In his mind, he envisioned him and Ivy talking easily like they always did. There had never been a lull in conversation or a time when one of them didn’t have something to say. But right now, it felt like neither of them had anything to discuss.

Forcing himself to sit up slightly, he frowned when Ivy immediately jumped to her feet to help him. She placed some pillows behind him since the bed wasn’t controlled by a remote. “I can adjust this from back here if you want to sit up more,” she suggested, and he had no choice but to nod.

“Thanks.”

As soon as she was seated again, Connor figured he had literally nothing to lose by simply saying what was on his mind.

“I didn’t tell anyone other than Jamie that I was coming home because there were things I needed to do,” he began as he studied his hands instead of her. If he looked at her now, he might not get through this. “I knew if I told my folks or reached out to any friends or family, people would want to see me and make demands on my time and…I wasn’t ready for that yet.” Pausing, he let out a long breath.

“Connor, you don’t owe me…”

He didn’t let her finish.

“There’s something you should know. Something I never told anyone.” He paused again because this was the moment where an already shitty situation could get even worse. “I never planned on enlisting in the military, Ivy. My plans were the ones you and I made together. We were going to go to the same college and…” His words died off, but he forced himself to look at her. “I came home one day and my parents sat me down and told me they had lost everything—their savings, their retirement, my college fund…”

“How…I mean, I don’t understand.”

Join the club…

“Their financial advisor took off with everything. He wiped out the accounts of dozens of clients and disappeared,” he explained. “They weren’t even sure how they were going to live and provide for their kids, let alone put one of them through college. I needed to do something to ease some of their burdens, so…”

“So you joined the Marines,” she finished for him.

Nodding, he murmured, “Exactly.”

“Why didn’t you explain any of this to me?”

“At the time, I was honoring their wishes. They were mortified and freaking out and…it was awful. I hated leaving them, but I hated leaving you more.” He wanted to reach for her hand but didn’t because she was sitting stiffly with her arms folded. “You have to know that I was ashamed too. Once they got their lives back together, I told myself I’d write to you to explain, but…I got deployed. And when I got back, it felt like so much time had passed and I didn’t want to disrupt your life.”

He was about to say more when Ivy stood and walked out.

Three

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