Page 40 of Scarred Bride

Grief comes in all forms. When we grieved our mother at the age of eight, we all handled it differently. Patrick was the one who curled up and cried for weeks. Linc found ways to use his fists to rid himself of the pain.

And I went silent, just as Serenity has.

We’re even alike in the way we handle shit like this.

Patrick shifts on his crutches. We sprung him from the hospital because he had to be here. It’s his duty to the family. Now that family includes Serenity.

“You good, man?” I ask him.

“Leg’s good. It’s just these crutches that dig in.”

“Drop them and walk like you’ve been healed.” Linc’s quip would earn us a cuff upside the head from our old man, who takes religion seriously, despite all his crimes. But what mob family isn’t hypocritical?

Patrick and I chuckle, and Linc joins in. The three of us are tight, but I realize that rallying around Serenity has brought us even closer. Next time we enter this church, it will be to welcome her into the Connolly family.

The music starts up again. I reach for the handle on the side of the coffin and look around at my brothers and the other men who will be pallbearers today. “Ready?”

They nod and take up their places on each side of the coffin.

As soon as we walk through the doors, I search the pews for Serenity.

I spot her in front immediately. She’s seated next to my father, as still as a statue. We pass by the pew, and her sob cuts off as we reach the front and she sees me and my brothers are honoring her brother in this manner.

I seek out her gaze. The force of the love and gratitude on her beautiful face has my chest welling with emotion only she’s ever been able to pull out of me. I live a rough life surrounded by rough people. But Serenity provides a peace and glimmer of light to my life I never expected to have.

When my brothers and I fill the pew, I take my seat beside Serenity. I reach for her hand, and she clasps mine tight. Finally, I’m able to take a full breath.

It’s killed me to stay away from her during the days, but there were matters to attend to. I always went to her at night, but it was after she’d taken sleeping pills to help her rest, and she never knew I was there.

After I told her about Nathan’s service, I questioned whether she even heard me. But I arranged this forher. Her brother was all she had left, and Nathan deserves as much.

As the service begins, I hold her hand and pass her tissues I’ve stuffed my suit pockets with. It guts me that she bears light bruises on her wrists from me trying to get her out of Patrick’s house that night. I knew she was fragile, but I guess I don’t know my own strength either.

I rub the pad of my thumb lightly over her wrist. Our eyes connect. In the depths of hers, I see that she forgives me for handling her too roughly. And I make sure I convey with my eyes how sorry I am for it.

When it’s all over, I guide her to her feet and find she’s steadier than she has been the past few days. As we gather in a knot around Serenity, she goes to Patrick and embraces him, then turns to do the same with Linc.

Lastly, my father extends a hand to her. Serenity shoots me a look and I wait to see what she’ll do. If she’ll accept him. He’s offering peace between our families.

She drops her stare to her feet and then steps forward and takes his hand. He opens his arms and she walks right into them.

I watch them with a knot of emotion in my throat. My father says something to her, and she nods.

After he releases her, she turns to me. I gather her up and she finally breaks down, releasing more than the grief she feels at this moment.

Along with her tears for Nathan leaks out all the pain she’s held trapped in her heart from what our families did to her—tous.

Chapter XIII

Serenity

Istand at the graveside, watching the first grains of earth being tossed on top of my brother’s coffin.

I wish everything was different, but oddly, I’m at peace with it all.

Oh, I know I have plenty more tears to shed, but I feel stronger.

It’s all because of Heath…and his family.

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