1
PROLOGUE
ELLA
Paul sat on the couch, flipping through the channels as I slipped into something a lot sexier than jeans and a t-shirt. His roommate had left for the evening, and Paul had hung the obligatory sock from the doorknob to indicate we wanted privacy. It had been six months that we’d been seeing each other. Things really heated up over summer quarter when the majority of the student body went home for summer break. Paul and I stayed behind to fuck like horny teenagers while taking skeleton classes to give a credible reason for being there.
The emerald-colored satin contrasted with my ginger hair and the touch of ruby lipstick I put on—which would soon stain his dick—only made the ensemble hotter. The slinky negligée hugged my curves like a glove, boosting my self-confidence. I adjusted my breasts, making sure the cleavage revealed was just enough to tease him, without being so much that I revealed my world to him all at once.
I brushed my thumbs across my nipples until they hardened, showing through the fabric. After fluffing my hair for added volume, I pinched my nipples one last time—for good measure—and opened the door of the bathroom. Paul sat with a video game controller in his hands staring at the TV. He seemed pretty invested in the game, so my sexy pose against the door jamb was wasted.
I scowled, remembering that 20-year-old men were really just boys in larger bodies. They hadn’t even grown into their full potential. And Paul, despite being on the football team, heavy weightlifting and fit, was no more grown up than my brother Alex—who also sat playing video games 5 hours a day, ignoring his studies.
The floor creaked as I walked closer to him, the squeaky floorboard always an indicator that someone was using the toilet in the middle of the night. I’d spent enough half-drunken nights at his place to know exactly where the loose board was, but I stepped on it on purpose. Still, he did not look up at me. My nipples were starting to go soft again, but I didn’t want to stir them up in front of him, so I ditched the idea that he’d see their outline and get turned on.
Instead, I stood next to him, striking my sexiest pose. With a hand on my hip, lips pouted out perfectly, I cleared my throat. He shouted some obscenity at the TV and punched the buttons on his controller harder. His face deepened into a scowl, and he leaned around as if he were avoiding the monster—whatever the fuck it was—that he was fighting in the game.
Frustrated, I decided to take things into my own hands. He wasn’t paying attention to me, but I had things I wanted to talk to him about. And after that, I planned to fuck his brains out better than I ever had. He was so distracted by the game; it was like he had forgotten the reason I came by. So, I reminded him, forcing his controller out of the way as I slid onto his lap,straddling him. He leaned to the side, punching away at the buttons.
I’d never had to beg for his attention before, and I shouldn’t have been begging now, but this was important to me. I pushed my hand down the front of his pajama pants and took hold of his flaccid dick, gently massaging and stroking him. After shouting out a few more obscenities, he tossed the remote onto the couch cushion beside him and grabbed my hips.
“Fuck, you made me lose.” Paul’s hands slid up my sides to my breasts, and he gave them a squeeze. “You gana fuck me good, huh?”
He started to get hard in my grip, and it brought a smile to my face. “Yeah, but can we talk first?”
I tucked him back into his pants and watched the desire in his eyes flash to annoyance.
“You got all sexy like this, interrupted my game, and now you want to talk?” His head flopped back like a ragdoll, his eyes rolling.
“Yeah, well after we talk, we fuck.” I shrugged and watched him shake his head.
“Get it over with. You got me worked up now.” Paul rested his hands on my thighs, sliding one up my nightgown until his thumb pressed between my legs.
“So, we’ve been together for six months. Yesterday was the six-month anniversary of the day we hooked up the first time.” I drew a line down the center of his chest with my finger as I talked. “And well, I’m ready for the next steps. You know?”
“Next steps?” He looked confused, his hand slid away from my groin, resting on my knee.
“Yeah, like making this official. We fuck a lot; I help you with your studies. But I want to tell people we’re seeing each other now. You know?” I held my breath, hoping he was as happy about the move as I was, but he scoffed, laughing at me. It took me by surprise. “Why are you laughing?”
“Ella, is that what you think this is?” He laughed harder. “You think we’re in a relationship?”
I swallowed, my confidence deflating like a cold balloon. My heart hovered somewhere between helplessly in love with him, and terrified he’d smash it with a hammer. I felt the emotions stirring, and it wasn’t a good feeling.
“This is literally just fucking. You wanted to help with my English, so I let you. You wanted to tutor me in math, so I let you. You wanted to sleep over and get all snuggly in that tiny-ass bed, so I fucking let you. But that does not mean we’re dating.”
I felt like I’d be slapped. I scrambled off his lap, running to the bathroom to hide the tears I knew were coming. I had never been more humiliated in my life, not even the time when I was 12 and I started my period on a day I wore white pants. Paul had never been so callous to me, and he had never let on that this was just sex.
I dressed in record time, calling an Uber as I did so. I was hurt. I didn’t know what I had expected him to say, or how I thought he’d react, but that certainly wasn’t it. I only wished I’d have been dressed when I started that discussion, because now I had to walk out the door of the bathroom and past him before I couldleave the dorm. I braced myself and slipped out, hoping he was absorbed in his video game.
He wasn’t.
“Ella, we can still fuck. You don’t have to leave.” Paul gave me a genuine expression of shock and disbelief, and I could have slapped him.
“I didn’t come here to fuck. I came here to talk to you.”
“You don’t have to rush off. We can talk.” He grabbed my wrist and I jerked away from him. I didn’t want to talk anymore.
“Paul, you don’t get it. I’m in love with you. I wanted to tell you that I want to make it official, and you laughed in my face. This isn’t a game to me.” Turning the deadbolts on the door, I let the tears fall. He didn’t deserve my explanations or my heart.