Page 33 of With You Forever

Lacey ain’t made of steel or heaven. She’s a body. A breath. The woman he writes into every one of his songs. The woman he loves more than life itself. The woman he could lose.

No.

Christ, no.

The demolition of his heart doesn’t even take ten seconds.

Seth squeezes his eyes shut.

The world blurs. Blackness. Rage.

Lacey.

“Fuck!” Seth shouts.

And then he opens his eyes, balls his hand, and slams a fist into the brick wall.

Lacey makes tea.

That is, she would if her sister stopped her hovering.

“Don’t.” Lacey points at Sal as she moves to rise with the siren of the tea kettle. She’s so damn sick of everyone treating her like she’s breakable. “I can lift a teapot, Sal.”

Shamefaced, Sal sinks back into her seat. “I know. Sorry.” Then she smiles, the serious edge chased away from her pretty face. “Payback.”

Lacey allows herself a chuckle, flips off the burner. God, was she this bad when Sal came home?

Glancing over her shoulder, she eyes Sal. “I know I—”

“Hovered. Smothered.”

Lacey gasps in indignation. “Yes. But I did all of that because—”

“You love me, and I love you, and this is what we do, get it?”

Lacey sighs, glances down at the gauze wrapped around her elbow, courtesy of her recent blood draw. “I get it.”

Earlier today, she and Sal spent all afternoon at the hospital, where she completed all her labs and signed her consent for surgery. She gave so many vials of blood, her right arm could double as a pincushion.

Minutes later, Lacey sets a pot of tea down on the table, then sits across from Sal. Lacey fixes her big sister with a look. “You have a baby, Sal. You should be at home with him, not babysitting me until Seth gets home.”

“Cash will be fine with the nanny for a few more hours.” Sal pours Lacey a cup of tea. “Let people help you, Lace. Everyone came together for me. We want to for you.”

Lacey bites her lip at the concern in her sister’s words. And she finds herself wishing her sister would leave, not because she doesn’t love her, but because she can’t take Sal fussing. She’s learning how to fully open up, and all this does is make her want to shut down.

Most days, she’s struggling between laughing and weeping at the ridiculousness of it all. Living her life while slowly freaking out. She feels hollow and exhausted, like she’s standing in front of a door she needs to open, but she keeps missing the knob, over and over.

Still, Lacey’s determined to be positive if it kills her. She knows a good mindset is a necessity. She has a good man, good friends and family, but ... what if ... ?

It’s the what-ifs that get her.

Lacey looks into her tea. Then says, “I’m mad, Sal.”

“I know you are.”

Looking up, Lacey juts her chin and says, “And I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too. Seth’s scared. Your friends are scared.” Sal takes her hand. “But we are going to kick cancer’s ass. And in a year or two, it’ll all be behind you.”

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