Page 24 of Cease and Desist

When he discovered that his much older sister was actually his mother, it had blown his mind. That untold truth had been the catalyst for him joining the military. It was his way of getting away from her and getting back at her at the same time. She’d worried about him every damn day. So had his parents/grandparents, but they’d understood. What they didn’t understand was how the fact that his whole life had been a lie had fucked him up inside. In a way he didn’t have a clue who he was. It had turned his world upside down.

The fact his mother wouldn’t tell him about his father was just the icing on the cake. In life, he’d found that knowing his roots was super important, and once everything he’d ever thought was true was revealed as a lie, it made him feel like his entire life was a lie.

He didn’t know if he looked like his grandfather anymore. Maybe he looked more like his father, but since he didn’t know who that was, the answer to the question would never be his. It had screwed him up in more ways than one.

The SEALs had helped put his head on right. It brought out a lot of his strengths, and it fed his need for action. But his military service also took a toll on him and, in the end, he was ready to leave. Now, though, he didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

The law had a steadying effect on him. It helped him to come to terms with his mother and his grandparents. He had a better relationship with all of them because of it. They weren’t close anymore. He just couldn’t bring himself to trust them in quite the same way, but at least now he could stand to be in the same room with them. They’d given him some, if not all, of the answers he needed and, in the end, he found he didn’t necessarily need the other answers so much anymore.

Well, he hadn’t. Now he didn’t know. The restlessness was back. The need for action. The desire to be back in the fight. Would working for Callahan Security scratch that itch for him? He still wasn’t sure, but he didn’t have to make the decision today. The trial run with the current situation with Remy would hopefully provide him with the answers he needed. He’d already emailed Drake and asked for some time off, which had been promptly granted. Now was the ideal time to test the waters and see if it was the right time to go back into the fray. Or if he even wanted to be in that line of work. God, it sucked not feeling like he had a clear direction.

He stared at Remy. She still hadn’t answered his question, but the color was coming back in her cheeks from the bourbon. Maybe he should have given her tea.

“Maybe,” she said.

“Pardon?”

“Maybe Gus knows something. A few hours ago, I would have said Gus knew my grandfather inside out and backwards but, honestly, I just have no clue.”

“It’s a tough one.” He had the urge to go over, pull Remy onto his lap and tell her everything would be okay. He thought back to when he’d hugged her before and how lust had sharpened as she’d leaned against him.This wasn’t helping.

“I need answers,” she said and then took a sip of her drink.

“I know,” he agreed. I know what it’s like, believe it or not. If you want my help to find those answers, you have it.”

She offered him a thin smile. “I know I haven’t been the easiest person to work with, but I sincerely appreciate everything you’ve done so far. I know you’re only doing it because Lacy asked you, but I’m grateful all the same.”

Sure, that was the reason. It might have started that way but somewhere in that bookstore today, something in his soul was unleashed and now he was in it no matter what. He knew it like he knew his sixth sense. Remy needed him and he’d be there whether she wanted him to be or not but it would be much easier if she agreed to it.

She continued, “I would love to say something noble like, ‘This could be dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt so I’ll do it on my own.’ But frankly, I have no idea what to do, and I’ll take all the help I can get.”

Hawk grinned. “Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but I’ll take it.”

“I didn’t mean—"

He waved her off. “No offense taken. I do have some ideas about where we can start. I spoke with Logan again. He’ll meet us at Callahan Security in the morning and get the ball rolling on running prints from the key. Maybe they’ll have some ideas about whatever is going on at the bottom of the stairs.”

“That all sounds great.” She tried to cover a yawn, but it was obvious she was exhausted.

It was only a little after eight, but it had been a long day. After locking the shop again, they’d picked up some clothing from her place and then got some Chinese take-out and brought it back to his place. They’d eaten, but Remy had remained silent and pale. He’d finally broken out the bourbon in an attempt to help with the shock. It worked, but now she was falling asleep.

“Why don’t we get you settled? You can take a shower and crawl into bed. It’s been a rough day full of shocks and upset. You need some serious sleep.” And he needed some time away from Remy. Her presence was screwing with his equilibrium. He needed to focus if he was going to protect her.

She looked like she might argue with him, but then she leaned forward and set her glass on the coffee table. “I think that would be good. I’m exhausted and seem to be in a brain fog.”

He stood and gestured for her to proceed him out of the living room and down the hallway. “First door on your right.” He grabbed her bag from the front hallway and followed behind her.

She entered the bedroom, but he stayed at the doorway, setting her bag down just inside the door. The room had a queen-size bed with matching nightstands and a dresser. It was large by New York standards and had an en suite bathroom.

“This is really nice,” she said in a quiet voice. “I love the cream-colored duvet. It makes the bed look so inviting.”

“That’s just because you’re so tired,” he said, “but I’ll take the compliment.”

She yawned.

He smiled at her. “I won’t keep you up. The bathroom is through there, and everything you need should be there, either in the vanity or on the shelves. If you’re missing anything, just let me know.

She nodded. “Thanks.”

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