Page 114 of Kings & Corruption

She laughed. “Sure, but you’ll get no judgment from me. You must have lady balls of steel to resist them.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know if we can accurately say I’veresistedat this point,” I said.

Her green eyes lit with excitement. “Oh really?” She grabbed my arm and led me toward one of the coolers filled with ice and alcohol. “Do tell, and I want every detail.”

We grabbed drinks and I proceeded to fill her in on everything that had happened between me, Rock, and Oscar. I left out the stuff about Neo. I could hardly admit my attraction to him to myself, let alone to someone else, and I definitely wasn't ready to tell anyone about what had happened between us against the Maserati.

As far as I was concerned, it had been a one-off, a moment of delusional weakness brought on by the adrenaline rush of our car chase.

That’s what I told myself anyway, and lucky for me, I didn't need those details to entertain Claire. She was more than excited to hear about my steamy altercations with Oscar and my growing attraction to Rock.

I stopped short of telling her about my visit with Nikki. I’d told Claire I just wanted to know more about Emma's life at Aventine, purposefully leaving out the part where I was looking for answers about her disappearance. I didn't want Claire to feel betrayed, but if I was being honest with myself, I was also still feeling cautious on the trust front, at least when it came to Emma.

Sharing the dirty details — emphasis on the worddirty— about my makeout sessions with the Kings was one thing. Letting the cat out of the bag that I was actually at Aventine to find Emma, or at least find out what had happened to her, was something else entirely.

I stopped dishing when Alejandro, Claire's crush from the Saints, came over with a few of his friends and started chatting us up. I let the alcohol loosen me up, swaying to the music while I listened to the gorgeous dark-haired cartel boys. The music was too loud for me to pick up all the details, but they didn't seem to mind as I nodded with interest and let my gaze slide around the bonfire.

Alexa was busy batting her eyelashes at George and so far hadn't paid me any notice. Maybe I got a pass because I'd helped the Kings win the game, or maybe she was just too distracted by George, but whatever it was, I was happy to get a reprieve.

I found myself instinctively looking for the Kings, but they were nowhere to be found, and I wondered again what they got up to when they weren't in class. Besides the fights at the Orpheum. Because I was almost positive there was a hell of a lot more they weren't saying.

Eventually, Claire peeled off with the Saints to do shots of some rare, high-end tequila they’d brought to the party. I opted out, already feeling pretty buzzed from the two drinks I’d already consumed.

I was happy, something that surprised me, and even more surprising, I was relaxed. Normally, my mind would have been ringing an alarm thatrelaxedwas a mistake at Aventine. But tonight, I just didn't care. It felt good to feel like I belonged, to enjoy drinking and dancing and talking with people my own age without the storm cloud of my father, Emma’s disappearance, my stalker.

My eyes were drawn to the cliff over the quarry. I'd avoided focusing on it all night, knowing it had the power to unmoor me, but now I couldn't seem to help it, and I found myself moving toward it as if controlled by an unseen hand.

Standing at the edge, I was filled with all kinds of intrusive thoughts.

Three more steps and I'll plummet to the icy depths below.

One leap and it might all be over.

It made me feel crazy. I wasn't someone with a death wish. There was still too much to do and see, too much that could happen that I didn't want to miss.

But I guess that was why they were called intrusive thoughts. They just came out of nowhere, like the impulse to turn your wheel into a guardrail on a curvy road or to stick your hand into a fire.

It was like standing on the edge of an abyss in space, nothing but darkness all around and in front of me, not even lights across the water, because there was nothing out here except the mountains.

Just endless blackness and the thought, again, that Emma might be down there somewhere.

The sky spun above me, my heart dropping into my stomach as the ground seemed to give away. I reached out, trying to grab on to something to steady myself, and felt nothing.

Then, strong hands on my shoulders.

“Wow," Rock murmured in my ear. “Are you okay? You were swaying.”

I leaned back against him, relishing the safety of his solid chest. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just… scared of heights.”

He chuckled, and the sound traveled all the way to the tips of my toes. "Then maybe you shouldn't be standing at the edge of a cliff.”

"It's weird, right? The way we’re drawn to the things that scare us?” I wasn't even sure what I was talking about anymore.

"I don't know," he said softly. "I've learned not to question the things I’m drawn to.”

I wasn't sure what he was talking about anymore either. I could feel the chemistry between us crackling like a live wire.

"Maybe I should follow your lead,” I said.

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