But how am I supposed to do that, knowing that she is with someone else?
On my way out of the hall, I see a waiter carrying a tray filled with bottles of elf spirits.
I grab one quickly, throwing the waiter a dark look that silences his protest. I know that one of these bottles can serve at least eight people.
With the bottle swinging in my hand, I walk out into the dark quiet of the night.
The night is cold and brisk. The cool air cuts against me in sharp waves. The dark, endless sky widens and narrows above me.
And you’re not even drunk yet.I tell myself this as I open the bottle.
All I see, as I lift the bottle to my lips, is Harper with another man. Harper with his hands on her.
On her back, sliding up from her waist.
His hands cupping her breasts.
His hands stroking her thighs.
All I can see is Harper arching her back for someone else.
Someone that she must have met right after I left.
The images in my mind change. Now I am seeing Harper, pregnant and rounded, her figure full and beautiful.
She is pregnant and happy and showing her human lover her belly.
I am almost sick right then and there, and have to restrain myself from retching.
The elf spirits burn my throat as I swallow it. I do not care and swallow it in one go, almost choking as some of the liquid spills from my mouth.
The spirits take effect quickly. I stagger further into the garden. The night flowers are blooming.
Their heavy, sweet fragrance is sharper, more potent, in the cold night air.
I do not know when I start crying. I have been looking for Harper for so long. And tonight, I thought I found her.
And I also thought that I had gained an entire family in the process.
How could my heart have bloomed and then broken in the space of mere minutes?
Again, I tell myself that I have no right to be angry at her.
“Why is this happening?” I speak out loud. I do not know who I am speaking to. The plants, the sky, the Thirteen even.
“Why is this happening?”
16
HARPER
Ishould never have come to this damn thing.
I try not to swear.
Not in front of Adelaide anyway. She is at an impressionable age.
And I do not like cursing anyway. It makes me feel guilty for reasons that I have never quantified.