20

HARPER

When Demethys leaves, I fall to my knees on the ground, weeping. How could he be so cruel? How could he do this to me? Why wouldn’t he believe me? Why is he so certain I left him for another man?

My heart is aching so badly. I want to rip it out so I don’t have to feel this way. I can’t bear the thought that I’ve truly lost him.

I can’t stay here. I have to go to bed. I have to be there when Addie wakes up. Forcing myself to stand, I wipe my face of tears and head upstairs so I can go to bed. Addie is already asleep when I arrive, having been put down by the nanny.

Lying face down, I turn away from my precious baby so she doesn’t have to see my tear-streaked face. I can’t tell her what happened. She’s too young to understand and too young to be saddled with such an emotional burden.

Falling asleep is difficult but I eventually manage to enter a fitful dozing state, trying not to roll onto Addie in my sleep. When I wake the next day, Addie is already gone. She’s probably run off to play with Jasper in the gardens under the nanny’s watchful eye.

A part of me is glad she’s not here. I can’t face her right now. I haven’t talked to Layla yet. I haven’t spoken to anyone. I can’t let Layla see me right now. I’m a mess. She would take one look at me and see right through my facade and know that something is wrong.

It just hurts so badly to see that the man I loved—the man I practically worshiped—is gone. That man yesterday? That wasn’t Demethys. It was a stranger. He’s no longer the same elf I once knew. The man I loved would never accuse me of sleeping around or call me a whore.

The master who was my whole world would never grab me so hard that it left marks in my skin. I examine them now in the looking glass, tracing the fingerprint shaped bruises.

I wish desperately that I had never seen Demethys last night. I wish I had missed him. It might have been better for him to have remained dead—at least to me—so I can preserve the treasured memories we had.

As I stare at myself in the mirror, the tears come back. I just feel so betrayed, so used. Everything Demethys promised never to do to me he’s now done. He’s made me feel like the cheap whore he claims me to be.

Just then, I hear clattering and the door opens up and Addie comes in with a bright smile on her face, dress stained with grass from the gardens. She stops short and stares at me. “Mama, why are you crying?” she asks, tilting her head.

I stare at her for a moment, trying to get myself together. “Oh, it’s nothing,” I say, wiping my tears furiously. “Mama just got something in her eye.” I don’t want her to see me crying. Adele shouldn’t be seeing me cry.

“Don’t worry. Mama isn’t sad,” I reassure her, trying to coax the smile back onto her face. “Now, should we go to breakfast? Maybe the cook has made some apple fritters!” I suggest. Addie claps her hands and jumps up and down.

“Yay!” she exclaims. We head down to the dining room where the staff are already laying out the breakfast spread. I dish out some food for Addie, though to her chagrin there are no apple fritters. She does get some kaijeer and I give her some rirzed tea.

“Thank you, Mama,” she says, looking up at me with that smile on her face that makes me absolutely melt. It’s just like her father’s smile. She even has his dimples. Today though, it just reminds me of what I’ve lost.

It’s hard to keep the tears down but I duck my head and pretend I’ve got to sneeze before turning back once I’ve composed myself.

A noise has us both turning towards the grand staircase, noticing that Jasper is bounding down, with Layla behind him. “Slow down baby!” Layla calls.

She pulls up short when she sees me though, taking in my appearance, the dark circles under my eyes and the way my shoulders droop. She gives me a look of understanding, sadness in her deep brown eyes.

Shit. Is it really that obvious? Does it look like I’m suffering a lot? As soon as Jasper has eaten, he and Addie go out to the gardens to play again, followed by Jasper’s nanny.

“So, how did you sleep?” Layla asks. I tense up but shrug.

“Alright. I mean, the bed is comfortable,” I tell her.

“That’s good. Kerym insisted on building us this place. He made his father give him part of his inheritance early and then asked me what I wanted in a home and I really wanted a comfortable bed. After sleeping on straw mattresses for so long, I was done.”

“I get it,” I chuckle lightly. It seems as though Layla isn’t about to ask me about Demethys, which is good. I don’t blame her for the man being here. It’s not her fault her husband knows someone from my past.

And I’m grateful because our problems are between the two of us only. “How was your night?” I ask, changing the subject.

Layla blushes, knowing exactly what I was asking. After the way they looked at each other during their mating ceremony, I half expected Layla to only wake up around noon today, wearing only a robe and being absolutely covered in hickies.

Thankfully that was not the case. She came down fully dressed and looking well rested. Maybe they were too tired to make love last night. I don’t really want to speculate though, to be honest.

“It was nice,” she says, ducking her head a little. “You know.”

“Well, good,” I smile. “You deserve it. I’m so glad you and Kerym found each other again.”