Page 14 of My Dreamy Holidate

Evan lifts that infuriating brow again.

“Well, I’m not drunk,” I clarify.

“You have to work in the morning. You never let yourself have too much in case the hospital calls.”

“I can have one night for me to grievethisloss.”

“Grieve?” He stills.

I wave my hand at him. He knows what I mean.

“Riggs? Do you feel confused about your feelings for her?”

I scoff, “Fuck no. I’m gone for her, butI’mthe doctor. I have to keep my head on straight and do what is right by her when maybe she can’t see what’s wrong.”

Evan slaps his arm around my shoulder. “My man, love doesn’t play straight. It’s crooked and zigzags. If you like her, why not see what happens? Why not take a risk for once?”

I shake my head. He doesn’t understand. It will kill me when she realizes that she doesn’t love me, only grateful to me. I never want to feel that heartbreak.

Reaching for my wallet, I’m done talking about this, and since he cut me off, I might as well head home. This last beer just tastes… flat.

“Bro, you should think about this before you make it final.” Evan finally finishes his one beer.

I huff. He doesn’t know. I pull some cash out of the wallet, and the fortune cookie fortune from our first date falls onto the bar. My stomach rollercoasters into my throat. The words,‘Trust your heart,’threaten me.

Is that really all it takes? Do I need to just trust my heart?

* * *

Nicklin

Tears roll down my cheeks, and I curl up on my couch, hugging my pillow tightly. Lindy’s scowl keeps me company as she has her I’m-going-to-kick-Dr.-Dreamy’s-ass face on.

She hasn’t said it, but I know my best friend. That is precisely what she is thinking. The scarier part is that she will follow through on it if she ever meets him.

I wipe my face with a tissue. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I fell for him when I was in a coma. He was by my bed many times. I kept dreaming about him. When I first saw him, I instantly connected with him. I remember seeing his picture in the hallways when they’d make me get out of bed for a walk or physical therapy. He has to be right."

I lie to myself, trying to convince myself that what I’m feeling isn’t right or real.

Lindy looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You don’t believe that. You’re a grown-ass woman and know your mind and heart. He is just a jackass who is scared of what he feels for you.”

“Lindy…”

“No, don’t Lindy me. You love him, Nicklin. He loves you. Then it became real and really complicated, and he ran. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. It doesn’t matter that he happened to be the surgeon who saved your life. That actually makes the whole thing a bigger, more epic love story. He saved his heart without even knowing that was what he was doing.”

I sniffle and nod at what she is saying. She has a point. But it doesn’t change things. He still doesn’t want me. He made that clear.

She stands up. “We arenotgoing to wallow here like this. We’re going to get you dressed and out of this apartment. You’ve been holed up here long enough. We’re going out for a drink. Evan’s not working tonight, so we can have a girls’ night. Just you and me, and no questions.”

“Lindy, I don’t know.”

She grabs my hands and pulls me off the couch. “But I do. Remember, you’re living your life fully from now on. We are going to embrace each day. The first step is getting out of this apartment.”

I think back to my hospital stay and then my recovery, and the promises I made to myself.Why not?

It can’t hurt more than what I’m feeling now. At least the bar noise will drown out the shattering of my heart.

9

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