Page 13 of My Dreamy Holidate

I swallow down my heart and give her the truth. “But often patients get these crushes on their doctors. It’s called transference phenomena. It’s a common event that occurs between patients and doctors. Basically, the patient projects emotions and feelings on the doctor because we cared for them in a time of need, saved them, and they think they’re in—”

“No! That’s not what this is!” she shouts. “Hell, I didn’t remember you. Well, I did in my dreams.”

“See! Youdidremember me.” It hurts me to say that.

“I remembered your kaleidoscope eyes, Riggs! Your eyes.”

“And I remembered yours, but I didn’t put two and two together. I should have asked.” I start mumbling to myself as the weight falls down on me. “No, I’m sorry, Nicklin. I don’t think I can do this. There’s too big of a chance this isn’t real.”

I rip my own heart from my chest and stomp on it with the way Nicklin’s eyes fill with tears.

She hops down from the counter.

“I know how I feel, Riggs. And this is real. It is.”

I wish I could be as sure as you are, but I’ve seen it before…

8

Riggs

Drinking my sorrows away at the local bar, Sip Happens, Evan joined me a while ago, and we sit here drowning in beers. More like I have been downing the beers, and Evan is nursing his one.

Evan’s a good friend, hanging out with me on his night off at the very place he works. I still don’t know where to begin, though my silence probably is screaming something to him.

Nicklin is perfect. Everything I have ever wanted or desired in a partner, but every thought I have tells me it might not be real and definitely could be seen as wrong by the administration. Shewasmy patient. I held her life in my hands, trying to get the swelling in her brain controlled, and I’m thankful she was one of my success stories.

The world without her in it, without her melodic voice, that would be the biggest tragedy. Knowing she is in the world will have to be enough for me. This is the ethical decision. The smart choice.

But then why does it feel so wrong?

“Seriously, Riggs, we are just going to sit here, and I’m going to watch you drink?”

I huff and take a long swig.

“Come on, you couldn’t stop talking about Nicky when I called after your first date, and now you look like shit after your second one… what’s up?”

Groaning, I rotate my neck slowly to eye my friend.

“Nicklin,” I pointedly said to him, remembering how she likes her full name. “She wasmypatient. I saved her life. That’s the problem.”

Evan lifts his brows and then furrows them. “Dude, I still don’t get it. What’s the big deal?”

I roll my eyes and wave the bottle at the bartender. I need another.

“The big deal is, there’s this phenomenon that happens between patients and doctors, and what she’s feeling might not be real. Her feelings could be mixed up in all of this. I mean, she’s alive because of me and the nurses. Gratitude and appreciation can manifest in many ways. Not surprisingly, romantic ways. I have seen it enough times to know that the end result is crushing. No way I could survive it when she realizes that herself.”

Another bottle is placed in front of me. Mentally, I smack my hands together and rub them back and forth.

“Thanks, Mark. No more for him tonight, okay?”

I glare at Evan, and Mark nods and walks off.

“What the—”

“I’m doing you a favor. You’ve already drunk way more than you normally do.”

“I’m not even buzzed.”

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