Page 80 of Caged

“Scarlet said he’s probably safe to go home now.” Sawyer eyes me over the rim of his coffee cup.

“Cooper told us last night. He said most of the reporters have cleared off the street.” My heart pangs at the idea of Hudson going home because I’m not sure if he’ll push me away when he finally can.

The signs are there. I may be inexperienced, but I’m not blind.

He’s closed himself off.

Not just from his siblings and friends but from me too.

* * *

“Areyou sure you want to do this?” I ask as I flatten my hands over his silver tie.

Hudson is sitting on my bed while I stand between his legs. The black suit that was dropped off earlier fits him beautifully. “No one would think any less of you if we skip this today.”

His hands rest gently on my hips when he drops his head to my chest and inhales deeply. “I have to do this, Mads.”

I run my nails over the back of his head and hold him to me. Fighting against every inch he slips away. “Okay. Then we need to leave now. The church is an hour north of here.”

I pull him to his feet and turn away, but his grip slips to my hands, and he tugs me back. “I think I should go home after the funeral.”

Here it comes.

“Alone,” he adds, and even though I knew it was coming, it still hurts.

I step further into his space and lift my chin. “No.”

“What?” He drops my hands, so I lift them to the lapel of his suit coat and curl my fingers into the expensive material.

“I said no.” My voice shakes, betraying my fraying nerves. “You’re not going home alone. I’m not leaving you alone. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s fine. Then don’t talk. If you’re not ready to go back to Crucible... Okay. Don’t go. But I’m here, and I’m on your side. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t do this, Madison.” Hudson’s shoulders drop as his eyes close. “I can’t.”

He takes a step back and turns away from me. “How am I supposed to trust myself with you? Huh?” When he finally looks at me, an ocean of hurt fills his deep blue eyes.

“How am I supposed to touch you with the same hands...” His breathing grows ragged. “Howcan you want me to?”

My heart cracks wide open as tears pool behind my lids.

Desperate to fix this for him but knowing I can’t. “Hudson...” I reach for his back, but he turns around.

His face is tight with an agony I wish he never had to know. “Why aren’t you scared of me? You should be,” he yells. “I’m a fucking monster, Madison. All my years of training, and I killed him.” He yanks at his hair, tortured. “For a belt. For a fucking title. I killed a man. How can you sleep in the same bed with me?”

With a quiet, shaky voice, I counter his yelling, “Because I’m in love with you.” I take his face in my hands and refuse to let him pull away. “Because no matter how much you don’t want to hear it, this is not your fault. I know you. I know the man you are. I know your heart. And you can try to push me away all you want, but I didn’t wait my entire life to find you, just to let you go when things get tough.”

“Maddie,” he chokes and wraps me in his arms, fighting back tears. “I’m so fucking sorry, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Oh, Hudson. It can’t be fixed. It’s not fair. It’s awful. It’s cruel. And there’s no reason for any of it. But life’s not fair. We both know that. And here’s the thing. You’re not alone. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” I breathe him in, refusing to let go. “Ever.”

Hud pulls back with red eyes and hesitantly brushes his lips over mine.

I savor every second before I break the connection and take his hand. “Let’s go do this, then we’ll come back here to grab your bag and pack mine, okay?”

He nods silently, but doesn’t push me away again, so I count it as a small victory.

* * *

HUDSON

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