Page 16 of Caged

She closes her eyes, and damnit, I think she’s gonna cry.

But that’s not Maddie.

This tiny woman is stronger than that.

She steps in front of me, with her eyes locked on my chest. Then with a shaky exhale, she flattens her palms over the cotton of my shirt against my pecs.

I suck in a sharp breath, my hands aching to wrap around her. To hold her. To comfort her. To soak in just a little bit of her light and warmth, but I don’t. This is her show now, and she needs to be in control of it.

This is the first time in three years this woman has ever willingly initiated any kind of physical contact with me. And the jolt of electricity it sends coursing through my veins is better than any adrenaline high I’ve ever gotten.

Finally, she lifts those long lashes and gives me her eyes. “It’s not you, Hudson. I know you’d never hurt me. I swear to God, I know it. It’s just...” She runs her teeth over her bottom lip, composing herself, then traces the ink that’s visible above my shirt.

“You’ve touched me over the years, Hudson. Maybe not as much as you’ve touched everyone else, but you’ve still done it. If I was scared of you, you’d have known it, and you would have stopped.”

“I’ve always wanted to touch you, Maddie.” The words slip out quietly, and there’s so much truth behind them. Not the smartest thing to say. Not the smoothest or most practiced. But it’s the honest truth.

Maddie drops her hands and takes a step back, breaking our connection. “You shouldn’t, Hud. I’m broken.” Another step takes her further away, and I miss the connection immediately. “Do you care which room I sleep in?”

I shake my head because words fail me for the first time since my dad died.

“Good night, Hudson.” She walks away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

“Night, sunshine.”

MADDIE

Does counting the rotations of the fan count as meditation?

Because it’s sure not helping me calm down.

I’ve been up here for an hour, and there’s no way I’m falling asleep any time soon. Not with my emotions riding a roller coaster like it’s a weekend at the Jersey shore. I’ve always loved the roller coasters.

The bigger, the faster, the crazier, the better.

I love that feeling of your stomach dropping as you fly around the loops backward, not able to see what’s coming at you. I always thought they were an adrenaline high and would beg Brandon to ride them again and again.

I wish I was fearless like that in my real life.

I wish I could take what I want and not worry what was coming at me.

Not worry about the consequences.

Not let the past determine my future.

Knowing there’s no chance I’m falling asleep anytime soon, I shoot a text to Daphne.

Maddie

Any chance you’re awake?

Daphne

Yeah. What’s up?

I hitDaphne’s number and watch her face appear in her dark bedroom after one ring. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing...” She gives me the look—the one only your best friend can give you because words aren’t even needed. “I don’t know, D. Everything?” I’m not even sure why I called her, but I need to figure this out.

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