Page 98 of The Long Game

“Of course,” Rhian agreed. “I’m still learning about Sav and Garrick. Until today I didn’t think Garrick would actually ask someone if they were banging like a screen door in a hurricane, but here we are," he said with an affectionate look for his ridiculous husband. “But seriously, just this week I realized that I had no idea what kind of parents Savannah and Garrick would be. Hell, I didn’t know what kind of parentIwould be. So…we’re learning that. About ourselves and each other.”

“Yeah?” Jack asked, thinking how he’d never seen thebig brotherside of Grady until this past week. And it hadn’t changed how Jack felt at all. Well, except he maybe liked Grady even more. “I hadn’t considered that.”

Rhian nodded. “If you’d asked me, I would have said Savannah would have us organized down to the last detail, but it turns out she’s super laid-back. And Garrick, who tends to be more of a bull in the china shop and brazen things out, is proving to be a worrier.”

“Says the man who stood by the crib watching Fiona sleep for hours until we dragged you back to bed,” Garrick said.

“Not because I was worried,” Rhian admitted, his cheeks going red. “I just…”

Savannah’s hand slid over Rhian’s, while Garrick’s ankle hooked around Rhian’s under the table.

“I can’t believe it’s real,” Rhian admitted. “I can’t believe she’s mine. Ours.”

Jack watched the way they looked at each other and wished Grady was there to see it, too.

“Jack, can I ask you something?” Savannah said, drawing him out of his musings.

“Sure.”

“Is the problem that it’snotgoing well, or that it’s goingtoowell?”

Jack opened his mouth to deny either was true, but then made himself consider it. “It may actually be the second,” he admitted begrudgingly.

“Can I make a suggestion?” Savannah asked.

“Sure.”

“Let yourself fall in love and enjoy the hell out of it.”

Jack’s skin prickled and sweat broke out all over his body. “It’s not—I don’t—”

Garrick leaned over the table, hesitated, then put his hand over Jack’s, squeezing tight.

It was kind of weird. All the years they’d known each other, they’d never done this. Maybe more weird was how much it helped settle Jack’s panicked thoughts.

He met Garrick’s steady gaze and took a deep breath.

“It’s scary as hell,” Rhian said softly from beside him. “I get that. Maybe more than these two, I get how fucking scary just the idea can be.”

Jack nodded, listening.

“Sometimes not loving anyone isn’t a punishment. It’s not a deficiency. It’s atool. A way to protect yourself. If you don’t let anyone in, they can’t take parts of you with them when they go. They can’t hurt you.”

Jack drew in another shaky breath, though this time the ache in his chest was as much for Rhian as for himself.

“But it’s also a lie a lot of the time,” Rhian said with a short laugh. “By the time I kissed Garrick, he’d gotten so far under my skin he already had pieces of me that he could have crushed, if he’d been cruel or uncaring.”

Garrick made a little noise that was still, somehow, a vehement denial. He never would. Just like Jack knew Grady wouldn’t do that to him, either.

“There may be a way to shut yourself off entirely,” Rhian admitted. “To make it so no one can hurt you and you’ll never be vulnerable, but I couldn’t do it.”

“Neither can I,” Jack whispered. Garrick’s grip on his hand tightened.

“It’s scary, when you figure out the walls won’t hold,” Rhian said. “Admitting someone has the capacity to hurt you, to truly gut you with nothing more violent than their neglect, is not an easy thing.”

Jack nodded.

“Do you know what I did when I figured out I was in love?” Rhian asked, sympathy and understanding in his gaze.

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