But not this one.
Never this one. Not in Moncton.
Jack spun to face the table again. He reached for his beer, saw how his fingers shook, and clenched his hands into fists in his lap. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs wouldn’t cooperate. His chest hitched as he choked on air. His stomach churned, acid rising.
He was overreacting. He knew he was.
He was safe. He was with friends. He was sitting in a busy restaurant in the middle of the dinner rush, for fuck’s sake.
But none of that mattered. He couldn’t hear the crowd or even Barnaby over the pounding of his heart. He swallowed against the bile climbing his throat.
Garrick glanced over at him and did a double take. “Jack? You okay?”
Jack opened his mouth but couldn’t make his voice work. His lungs quavered as he tried to draw air, chest hitching again.
He couldn’t breathe.
Barnaby’s eyes went wide and he reached for Jack’s arm.
Jack jerked back.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
He shouldn’t have done that. Barnaby wasn’t going to hurt him, for fuck’s sake.
The pounding of his pulse in his ears got louder, the need for air more desperate. Without a word, he stood and ran from the restaurant.
Grady wason his third date with Sean Kelly and it was going well.
Sean was smart, funny, and interested in Grady, which was incredibly flattering. More than that, Grady feltwanted, which was a huge boost to his ego and a nice change.
Seanwas a nice change. Maybe Grady hadn’t done the whole dating thing a lot—not since college—but he didn’t think he was falling on his face. Mostly, he felt…stiff. And not in the fun way.
A little voice in the back of his head told him that wasn’t how he was supposed to be feeling on the third date, but he forced it aside.
Sean, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice. He was an easygoing guy and always quick with a smile. Hell, he’d even been patient when Grady’s job had forced him to reschedule their previous date at the last minute. That alone, he’d been assured by many a coworker, qualified Sean for “keeper” status.
What more could Grady want?
Grady didn’t allow himself to answer that question, even in his own head.
Instead, he took a bite of steak and listened attentively to Sean talk about his day. The steakhouse Sean had chosen was nice, the dark wood-paneled walls and deep leather banquettes making it a perfect spot for a romantic night out. They’d already enjoyed cocktails at the bar and now had a delicious meal before them at the table Sean had arranged for in an intimate corner of the dining room.
Grady had tried to remember all the rules of dating he used to care about, eons ago. He was being mindful about not eating or drinking too much. He was listening more than he was talking. Smiling to show Sean he was engaged. And not at all thinking about all the reasons Sean would eventually leave him.
Mostly.
Realistically, Sean was one of Moncton’s most eligible bachelors and everything anyone would want in a partner. The man checked all the boxes: kind, clever, good job, nice home. Hell, even his trendy retro glasses were adorable.
He could have anyone he wanted. Why would he choose Grady?
He knew he was being ridiculous. This was all going exactly as it should. If it didn’t feel exactly right, ifhedidn’t feel exactly right, it was on him and he could fucking get over it, even if it took an act of sheer will.
The problem was, Grady had never wanted a long-term relationship. Well, he hadn’t until…shit, he wasn’t going tothink about that. Becausethatwas never going to happen, so he’d asked Sean out with the thought that maybe he’d changed. Maybe Grady didwant that kind of connection and he just needed to find someone else to have it with.
And maybe that wouldn’t be easy, but he’d never been afraid of hard work.
He focused on Sean, letting his eyes linger on Sean’s full lips. He wasn’t going to leer at his date, but it didn’t hurt to recall how pert Sean’s ass had looked in his suit pants when he’d slipped out of his jacket.