Grady shook his head. “I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” Barnaby asked.
“Share my feelings. It would make him uncomfortable and I never want to do that. What if he started avoiding me? What if he didn’t feel”—Grady swallowed to moisten his suddenly dry throat—“safe with me anymore?”
Barnaby jumped to his feet, climbed right up and over the coffee table, and yanked Grady into a fierce hug. “You are the loveliest man and I adore you.”
“Uh…thanks?” Grady patted Barnaby’s shoulder and looked to Travis for some explanation of his boyfriend’s behavior.
Travis shrugged, but he looked embarrassingly fond of them both.
“You’re also an utter pillock,” Barnaby added as he stepped back and poked Grady in the chest.
“Pillocks are bad, right?” he asked.
“Yes, but in your case it’s also endearing. I think Canada, or maybe hanging out with hockey players, has broken me,” Barnaby mused before poking Grady again. “You and Jack are the best of friends, Grady. You can talk to him about your feelings.”
Grady shook his head. “I can’t. I tried that four years ago and he said no. He said he couldn’t do a relationship.”
Barnaby’s eyebrows went up, apparently surprised. “And whatever feelings you expressed all those years ago are the same ones you have now?”
“No,” Grady admitted. “Now it’s way worse.”
“Maybe it’s not worse,” Barnaby ventured. “Maybe it’sbetter.”
“Not from where I’m standing,” Grady groused.
“Consider it,” Barnaby plowed on. “It’s not unreasonable to wonder if Jack’s feelings have changed in those four years. It’s not unreasonable toask. If he says no, at least you both know from experience that you’ll respect his answer and back away.”
“Right. And this time I haven’t even kissed him.”
Barnaby’s right eye began to twitch. “Right,” he said flatly. “Apparently, there’s that.”
13
To Garrick’s credit, he managed to keep his questions to himself until Jack was done with his spring rolls. It looked like it was killing him, and that was reason enough to let it drag out for as long as possible.
But Jack wouldn’t have sent those damn texts if he didn’t feel the need to talk to someone. And as much as he loved Barnaby, he knew what he’d say because Barnaby was, above all else, a hopeless romantic at heart.
Jack needed a voice of reason. That he was contemplating letting Garrick fill that role probably said something about his overall mental state. Though, maybe it wasn’t just Garrick he needed. He looked around the small hospital room, trying to pretend seeing Savannah’s boob wasn’t totally freaking him out—lady parts weresonot his thing—and realizing that one of the coolest things about the relationship between Savannah, Rhian, and Garrick was how they balanced each other out. Rhian and Garrick made Savannah more playful and demonstrative. Garrick and Savannah made Rhian more confident and settled. And Rhian and Savannah made Garrick more patient and thoughtful.
Jack wondered if he and Grady did something like that for each other.
Then he wondered where the hell that thought had come from.
And then he opened his mouth.
“How can you tell when someone likes you?”
Garrick paused in the process of taking Fiona from Savannah, then quickly gathered up the baby and her blankets and crossed the room to Jack. “Here. You burp her.”
Jack’s heart stopped mid-beat. “What?”
Garrick laughed. “I swear to god, did you just pee yourself a little?”
“No,” Jack sputtered over Rhian and Savannah’s laughter.
“I’ve never seen anyone look more terrified. Here,” Garrick said, apparently unconcerned that Jack’s hands were shaking as he curled them around the warm little body Garrick pressed against his chest and shoulder. Holding Fiona, not letting her fall, was instinctive. Jackhadto keep her safe. But was he doing it right? Was he holding too tight? Jesus Christ, how could she be so tiny?