Page 20 of Made For Me

She laughed at me and the sound of her laughter fills my ears even now. I blink away the tears that sting my eyes. Closing the file, I put it away in my bag and get up. “I’m going to head out,” I tell Rosalind, who just nods her head at me.

The hot air greets me right away, and I’m walking to my parking spot when a black car stops in front of me. I look when the driver’s door opens and Colin gets out. He’s wearing jeans and a white shirt. “Hey,” he greets, putting his glasses on top of his head. “Just the person I was looking for.”

“Well, you found me,” I shoot back, trying to smile but it just takes so much effort.

“How you doing?” he asks, walking to the trunk of his car.

“I’ve been better,” I admit to him, watching as he opens the trunk and grabs the green diaper bag. My heart shatters in my chest and I try my best not to hyperventilate. It was a gift I bought her right before she gave birth.

“We found this in the car.” He grabs the bag by the two handles and picks it up. “Dusted off all the glass,” he says, shaking it just to make sure. “Figured you might want it for the baby.”

My hand lifts as I take it in my fingers, gripping the handle. “Thank you. I’ll make sure I get it to Penelope,” I say and the sound of his trunk closing makes me jump.

“Why don’t I give you a call tonight, take you out for a drink?” Colin suggests with a smile.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I say, but what I don’t add is it’s not going to happen. He gets in his car and drives away. My eyes linger on the bag for a lot longer than I want to admit. I walk to my own car and open the trunk, putting the bag in there.

When I get into the car, instead of heading home—where I should go—I head to the hospital. My head is so messed up it’s only when I’m halfway inside do I remember I forgot the bag. I think about going back but just decide I’ll get it later. I walk into the hospital and head over to the information counter. “Hi, I’m looking for a patient named Penelope Whitehorse.” She types the name in the computer and then looks at me.

“I’m her caseworker with CPS,” I inform her and she nods her head.

“Fourth floor, room four twelve,” she says.

“Thank you.” I walk toward the elevator and press the button. There are so many more people now than this morning. My head is spinning as I step into the elevator and press the four.

I stand in the corner with my head down, not sure I want to see anyone I know. I’m at the point of the day where I just want it to be over. I’m going to check on Penelope and then I’m going to head home and have a very stiff drink. The elevator pings on the fourth floor, and I walk out, looking at the arrows to find where I should go.

I walk down the white hallway, going for the nurses’ station instead of just to the room. The lady behind the desk looks up. “Hi, I’m Julia. I’m with CPS and you have a Penelope in room four twelve.” I look toward where the door is. “I’m just here to check in.”

“Go in, she was with a volunteer before, but no family members have stopped by yet,” she reports. “I was going to call you guys to see if you were sending someone down.”

“Let me check on my end,” I say as I turn and walk to the room, seeing Penelope sleeping in the middle of the bed. I walk over to the bed, sitting on it as I take her in. There is going to be two parts to her life from now on: before her mother died and after her mother died. Either way, in my heart I know I’ll never not follow her path.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I hear from behind me and look over to see Stacey. This time she is dressed in blue jeans and a shirt. “Get the fuck away from her,” she snaps and Stanley comes in wearing a suit that looks like it’s two sizes too big on him.

“Stacey,” he says between clenched teeth.

“I want you to get out of here,” she tells me, her voice rising so much the nurse comes. “And this time you can’t kick us out because we got an emergency order of custody,” she says, smiling as if she won the game.

“So we don’t need your kind here. Not now, not ever.” I don’t bother telling her that isn’t how this works.

Instead, I try to get her with kindness. “I’m happy she has someone who is going to be here for her.” She laughs bitterly. “I’ll be in touch,” I state, going to walk out and she snags my arm.

Everything inside me goes cold, and I mean everything. “You’ll get what’s coming to you,” she sneers at me.

I want to rip my arm out of her reach, but instead I stare into her eyes and then mine go down to the hand on my arm. “If you don’t get your hands off of me, I’ll be filing a report of assault.” I smile at her as she glares at me. “And I have witnesses to corroborate.”

Stanley pulls her away from me, not saying a word to me. I step out of the room. “Your name is on file,” the nurse says under her breath. “I’ll call you if anything happens.”

I nod at her, not sure if I talk right now anything will come out. I go through the whole motion of getting in the car and then getting home. It’s only once the door is closed behind me my legs finally give out.

CHAPTER12

Chase

Me: Just checking in to see how your day went.

I look down at the phone, seeing if she’ll answer me, but nothing comes through. My finger taps the screen a couple of times, my mind so focused on Julia I don’t hear the truck arriving next to me nor am I ready for the knock on the window that scares the shit out of me. I jump in my seat, making Cooper’s laugh fill the garage. “What the heck are you doing in there?” I look over and see his face out my window and all I can do is give him the finger.

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