Page 35 of The Twins

what do you care!

Unknown number:

did you get home safe?

The question irks me, sending warmth to my belly. This stranger sounds like a total creep, and I’m fully aware of it. Yet, the desperate part of me, the one prone to making hasty mistakes, takes this weird message and spins it into gold.

Remo:

Yes

Remo:

who are you. Please, tell me

I fall asleep staring at the empty screen, devoid of any hope that I’m worth anyone’s time. I’m about to end one chapter, the prologue of my life, so to speak. While my brother has it all the way he wants it, I have zero friends and endless virginities. Such matters are trivial in the grand scheme of things.

I shouldn’t bother.

I’m better off. Abstinence is healthy. No diseases. No scary baby freak-outs. I’m not ready to be a dad, not now, not ever. On most days, when I’m me without the social restraints, I’m afraid there’s something wrong with me.

What they all have? I’m fine without it.

On days like today, when I feel like shit, I want the stranger to come out to me, to comfort me in my darkest moment. Tell me I’m a good boy, the best boy. That I don’t have to fit in with anyone, just with that one person who loves me unconditionally.

But nobody ever does, and I have to live with that.

* * *

The noteon the kitchen counter reads:

We’ll be back by tonight. Can you check in on Mr. David next door? I’ve got a casserole ready for him. Love you. We’re so proud of you.

I scoff at my parents’ message. Of course, I have to be the one to bring our neighbor food when he breaks his leg. Where’s Vegas? It’s not like Mr. David annoys me. He’s cute to look at, but Vegas could at least pretend to be taking part in our family life. Mom and Dad are the oldest parents on the block, and everyone knows them, relying on them. We’re nice to our neighbors. Vegas barely knows their names.

I even know their backstories. Mr. David, for example, is a late-thirties bachelor who must have bribed his way into our neighborhood. That or he fucked his way through the neighborhood’s council. Single and no kids? Why does HE get to live next to us?

When you’re hot, they let shit slip, you see.

In Vegas’ gym shorts and a Space Jam T-shirt, I make my way over to Mr. David’s humble abode. He hasn’t done much to the place, and I wonder if he’s waiting on his special someone to change it with. Yuck.

I knock on the door, and the man doesn’t make a sound. I glare at the casserole in my arms, cursing under my breath. Fuck this. I’m not coming over here again today. Before I leave town this summer, I want to catch up on my studies so that I can be top of the class in every fucking class in military college.

Pushing the door open, I head for the kitchen. The floor plan is simple, and the house is one of many. Our house looks a little different because Mom and Dad were able to cash in favors to buy the place and renovate it to their liking. Mr. David rents it, and he must ask for permission each time he changes a minor detail.

I store the casserole in the fridge, observing all the other food Mr. David has received from the neighborhood. People love him. His charm is intoxicating.

Plus, he broke his leg while volunteering for the fire department.

Everybody loves a hero! Too bad they don’t love me. But that’s fine. I’m just fine. Never been better.

As I make my way out of Mr. David’s house, I hear an unfamiliar grunt. It’s a rough sound, one that makes me fuzzy inside. Soft moans follow, and I’m officially intrigued. The man can barely get out of his bed. I can take a quiet stroll upstairs to his bedroom.

I assume that he’s there. In the past weeks, he’s never not been there. For a man like Mr. David, staying inside is like death. Withering away isn’t his thing. He’s like my brother, in a way, always outside and mingling with people. I don’t understand people like that. I love staying inside where I can study and help my parents whenever they need me. I realize that makes me sound boring, but that’s how I’ve lived my life thus far.

On my tiptoes, I dance up the stairs in the shadows. This is exciting! I’m generally not noisy. I leave people alone. I’m a good boy, waiting for somebody to finally acknowledge it.

There’s something about Mr. David that has always intrigued me.

---