Page 34 of The Twins
I can see the outline of my home. My parents’ car is out front. The neighbor’s dog barks at something. Perhaps he can sense me coming.
Unknown number:
somebody who couldn’t muster enough courage to talk to you in person
Remo:
duh
Unknown number:
you like to talk back, boy? Does it make you hot?
Remo:
Who the hell are you. Leave me alone
Unknown number:
do I scare you
Remo:
OBVIOUSLY
I must look like a fool while waiting for the stranger’s response to my message. A neighbor could be watching the exchange through their window, wondering what the hell I’m doing out here all alone.
With my phone in hand, I stand there with expectations blooming through my soul. A stranger’s text messages have become the highlight of my day.
Sighing in disappointment, I give up hope for more audacious text messages. In a slump, I walk toward our property. I become the boy my family knows and appreciates. The quiet one that gives and gives until there’s nothing left. I bend my soul, breaking it in two for others to like me.
I’ve never wanted anything.
I don’t understand why I must feel this way.
My brother is my twin, and he’s as much of an extrovert as one can be.
Once I’m inside the house, I go quiet because our parents go to sleep early. I wash the day off, and I stroll into my bedroom with new briefs on.
Passing by the mirror in my closet, I stop to admire my proud stature. NOT. My brother has started growing out of his teenage body. I’ve been stuck in a nerd’s body, frail, skinny, and tiny. I’m more comfortable that way. I don’t want to be like my brother. I want to be me.
Now that he’s tall and fit, people finally separate us.
They even identify us by our correct names.
It’s important to me that there’s a separation between us. I love my brother to death, but I need this distance of identity to figure myself out. Not that it’ll do anything for me in the long run. I’m stuck serving my country because… I didn’t want to disappoint my parents.
What does that spell out?
FAILURE.
Fucking traitor.
Unknown number:
what are you doing right now?
Remo:
