Page 71 of The Twins

Every day.

I can’t deny him this favor. I correct my posture and plaster a fake smile on my face, the best one I can muster. I pretend to be my brother for the evening, entertaining every guest of Mr. David’s.

From afar, I can feel Andre David’s gaze on me.

Is it pride in his eyes, or am I imagining things?

At the end of the night, I’ve sobered up, and I’m the last guest in Mr. David’s home. A home that he envisioned me living in. I gulp at the thought. It’s intense to consider what if. Could I be this man’s boyfriend?

I’ve never been in a relationship before.

And Mr. David wants me to be his? Doesn’t he know how dangerous it is to be his?

I sit by the make-believe bar while the staff cleans up Mr. David’s home. Where is he? I look around the room, but it’s clear of his essence.

Bowing my head, I sit alone with my thoughts.

Being Vegas for the night challenged me. I don’t enjoy the openness my brother walks around with.

Mr. David’s friends showered me with the ugly words I’ve come to hate. They knew my name. My age. They didn’t look down upon me for working for my country. It’s what I expected. The corporate people judge us for our actions, our dedication to the nation.

Instead of chasing paper.

Miracle. I was called a miracle today, a revolutionary.

It stung. I’ll always be one half of my mom and dad’s miracle babies.

“I don’t have anything to prove.” One of the staff turns to me, confused. “I’m just talking to myself.”

The staff continues their work, and I’m left contemplating.

I’m a miracle baby. I’m a good boy.

I must quit whining.

Mr. David gave me a tour of his home once. It was a heartbreaking and embarrassing day, but I remember every detail of it. It’s how I like to punish myself because I believe that I’ve failed in life. I sigh.

I ask the staff about the birthday boy’s whereabouts, and they send me to his office. I find it in an instant, knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

With the windows wide open, Mr. David’s office still smells of lavender. It’s a rainy night, and I can hear the raindrops in the distance. The air is cool inside of his office, and I yearn for heat.

He doesn’t have to invite me to come closer this time. I take a deep breath, rolling my shoulders back. I step forward. He sits behind his desk, observing me from afar.

“You did well tonight,” Mr. David says. He rolls a cigarette with his fingers, and I observe with fascination. He doesn’t roll his own cigarettes, though. He has his favorite brand.

That’s weed. My brother used to consume it behind our parents’ back.

“Thank you,” I reply. “Thank you for having me.”

A moment of silence passes. Mr. David sticks out his tongue to lick the cigarette, and I freeze where I stand. Focus! I will my body to calm the fuck down, but it never listens.

“I’m sorry for what I said, Remo.”

“For—”

“It was inappropriate to ask you to be my boyfriend—”

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