Page 80 of Shared on the Ranch

Chyanne

The weight of all their eyes—even Aaron and Chandler who were pretending not to look, but glancing when they thought she wouldn’t notice—was making her feel sick. For someone who rode in front of crowds for a living, you’d think she wouldn’t mind, but when she felt unsure and off balance like this, she didn’t want anyone to look at her.

He didn’t.The realization hit her like a two-by-four straight to the gut.He never lied. I assumed, and he let me act under those assumptions. Hell, he probably didn’t even know what assumptions I had.

Although, the owner was certainly savvy enough to have guessed.

But that doesn’t make him responsible. I should have asked. I should have checked. And I certainly shouldn’t have come bursting into his office and making papers fly because I made the wrong assumptions.

Chyanne took a deep breath. She wasn’t used to being humbled, and truth be told, she didn’t like it one bit. “He didn’t,” she said aloud, the words tasting horrible and acrid as they left her mouth. “He…” She forced herself to face Nate instead. “You never said I was the only one who would ride in the rodeo. I made that assumption, and I didn’t check with you.”

He gave her a single nod.

Exhaling slowly, she forced herself to continue. “I did not act like a professional earlier when I… when I came in here. And… you know.”

Aaron gave her a slight nudge.

Damn it, why can’t that be good enough?But Chyanne steeled herself and tried again. “I never should have come into your office and ruined your papers.”

Chandler cleared his throat on her right and it was all she could do not to glare at him.

I’m trying over here! Sheesh! They want perfection right out of the gate!“I’m sorry.”

Nate smiled warmly at her. “Thank you, Chyanne. I accept your apology. I know how hard all of this has been for you.”

Before she could stop herself, she laughed. “You don’t even know the half of it.”

“Really?” He looked mildly interested. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”

She was shaking her head before he even finished speaking. “I came to say I’m sorry, and I am, and I did, so I’m just gonna—”

“Would you tell me?”

Chyanne couldn’t help but stop her mental preparations to flee at the sweet, soft sound of Lora’s voice. The imploring look in her friend’s blue eyes made her throat tighten.

“Just pretend they’re not here,” she continued. “Like we’re out talking, just the two of us.”

The last thing she wanted was to spill her guts. On the other hand, she could feel the hurricane within her brewing once again, ready to rear its head and cause mass destruction at a second’s notice.

It’s been like this my whole life. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t…

She took a deep breath, then nodded. She did her best to pretend the other men weren’t in the room and focused solely on her friend’s kind, caring gaze. “The thing is, riding… it’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not—”

She waved Lora’s protest away. “It is. Theonlything.” She paused, but Lora seemed to have gotten the message, because she didn’t say anything else. “And I just…” She took another deep, quavering breath, struggling to find words to explain the things she felt so deeply. “I always mess it up. Everything good in my life I just…”

I can’t breathe.Chyanne opened her hand, freeing Aaron’s fingers, and clutched her chest.

“Chy?”

She ignored him.I can’t. I can’t do this. This is why I don’t talk about it.

“Chyanne, I’m right here. I’m here with you. Once you get it out, it will be so much better. I promise.”

Fighting the fear that clawed at her, she forced her gaze back to her friend.

“Just breathe, sweetie.”

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