Page 61 of Reunited By the Greek's Baby

He squeezed his eyes shut, the familiar maelstrom of emotions whirling inside him, so fast he felt light-headed. But what could he do? He couldn’t force the issue. He had a duty to protect.

‘So it’s just the memory of your time in prison bothering you? Nothing else?’

‘Isn’t that enough?’

Isla stiffened in his hold. She didn’t move away yet he sensed her mental withdrawal and silently cursed.

‘Of course it is. I think you should see someone, a counsellor, especially as the dreams are getting worse.’

‘It’s okay. Nothing to worry about.’

Isla said nothing for the longest time and he found himself holding his breath as if awaiting judgement. So many barriers had fallen between them. In every way except Isla’s continued refusal to marry, he felt they’d reached a new level of understanding and trust. A trust he broke by not being up-front with her.

But how could he, when it meant a different betrayal? Yet keeping this secret was increasingly hard.

‘It’s natural the experience would impact on you, Theo.’ Her voice was gentle, making him feel even more guilty that he held back one final nugget of truth. ‘It doesn’t mean you’re any less macho.’

Relief stirred. Isla thought his reticence was male ego. That was as good an excuse as any.

‘If you don’t want to talk about that, there’s something else I need to understand.’

‘Go on,’ he said warily.

‘You know I’ve been seeing Simon at the University?’

‘Of course.’

His friend was trying to persuade Isla to continue her studies in Athens. In the meantime he’d offered her some part-time work cataloguing finds and doing a little research. Theo had high hopes that soon she’d accept the inevitable, agreeing to marry him and build a permanent life in Greece. They were good together, more than good. Their relationship was better, stronger and deeper than before, unlike any he’d had or could imagine having with any other woman.

She’d even coped amazingly with the media stampede when they announced her pregnancy. His mother and Isla were firm friends and since Toula’s recent return the three had bonded in a way he’d hardly dared hope for.

‘Today Simon said something that made it clear he hadn’t asked that you check on me in London.’ She paused. ‘That’s what you told me.’

Theo released an easy breath. Was that all? Strange how, at the time, it had seemed vital that Isla believe he’d only looked her up as a favour to a friend. His pride wouldn’t let him admit the truth, in case she really had washed her hands of him. At the time he’d convinced himself it was best if he sever their relationship, but he hadn’t been able to stay away. They’d moved on so far from that.

He shifted onto his back, pulling her closer into his embrace, her head resting at his collarbone, her rounded belly solid against him. He smiled.

‘I was protecting myself.’

‘From what?’ Her hand spread on his ribs and he covered it with his.

‘From the likelihood you hated me for cutting you loose.’

Isla’s fingers twitched beneath his. ‘Well, that was honest. You’re saying you didn’t want to admit you wanted to see me but used your friend as an excuse?’

‘Put like that it sounds juvenile, doesn’t it?’ But there hadn’t been anything childish about Theo’s feelings. ‘I believed it for the best that we parted. But even believing that, I kept thinking about you. I couldn’t leave it the way I had. I told myself that if I saw you for myself, saw that you’d moved on with your life...’

Even that implied a lie. Isla had become important to him in a short time. He’d told himself in prison it was sentiment and the memory of great sex that kept him thinking of her, but he’d known at a deep, never admitted level it was more than that. He’d needed to see Isla because he felt things for her he’d never experienced before. He wanted her in his life forever and couldn’t imagine it without her.

‘You wanted to check I was okay so you needn’t feel guilty about pushing me away?’ Her voice was flat.

‘It was more complex than that.’ Theo swallowed. ‘I cared for you, Isla. I still do, even more so now. When Simon mentioned he’d heard you’d dropped out and your tutor thought you were sick I had to see for myself.’

‘Then, when you discovered I had morning sickness, your sense of responsibility kicked in so you couldn’t just leave.’

Theo wished he’d let her turn the light on. He wanted to see her face for her tone made him think she was upset. What was wrong with him feeling responsible for her? He’d thought she’d be happy at his admission he’d visited because he cared about her.

‘So the sixty-four-million-dollar question is, why did you push me away in the first place? You never gave me a proper explanation.’

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